Thoughts From The Mind of A Princess

98 More Days!

2007-02-17T11:13:00.000-05:00

Well, Phil and I are making progress with our future life together. Yesterday we finally agreed on where to move and when to move in together. This has not been an easy decision as we both have leases ending before the wedding date. We also went through a time period of looking at one place and loving it, but then looking at another place and liking that one even more. We finally agreed to rent an mid-size apartment in my current community for the next year. By doing this, we can save a few thousand dollars to purchase a house next year (unless Phil decides to go to grad school and we move to either Texas or Tallahassee). We are getting very excited about this next step. Now we get to decide which furniture stays and which goes. Sound like fun, huh?

Oh, the wedding invitations came in last night. I was so nervous about how they turned out that I made Phil look at them first. They are GORGEOUS!! I cannot wait to send the out!!

Only 98 more days!!!

Where I'm At...

2007-02-17T11:10:00.000-05:00

I can feel God working in me. This is where I'm at right now:

From The Inside Out

by Hillsong United

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains

And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Updates...

2006-12-19T15:22:00.000-05:00

Wow! It has been a long time since I've posted an update.

Work is fantastic this year. I have wonderful students, small classes, and a great curriculum. I am teaching a new class this year (out of the three that I teach), and am the only teacher with this class, so I get to form the curriculum. I am finally teaching English the way I want to--very rigorous and in-depth. The county is adding lots of pressure to content-area teachers and that has been a lot to deal with, but knowing that my students are learning has been worth it all. This FCAT monster needs to go away-it is destroying Florida education. Let me rephrase that: it's not the test that is destroying the education, it's the way the government is using the test. It's really sad. I refuse to teach to that test...EVER. I happen to be a good teacher, so I get away with a lot of things, but I feel bad for many students who don't have effective teachers and are only learning what's on the test.

School is going well. I just closed out my third semester with straight As; I currently have a 3.8 GPA. I wish I had done this well as an undergrad. I am learning a lot about how to teach reading to students, but I think my area of specialtise will be in professional development for teachers. County officials continue to jump on the latest and greatest trends to sweep through the nation, not visiting classrooms to check on relevance. I think I want to work with content-area teachers and equip them with strategies to help with literacy growth in their classrooms. I still have a few months to decide, so we'll see where I go with that.

My family is doing okay. We all spent Thanksgiving at Cheryl and Brian's house. We cooked together and had a lot of fun doing it! I could tell it was difficult for my mom not having my dad there, but he'll be home on January 5th. It sounds like he is doing well and is really looking forward to being back.

Wedding planning is fabulous! We are having a lot of fun with it. All of the big things have been taken care of such as DJ, venue, flowers, etc... Phil took care of the tuxes; I took care of the bridemaids dresses. I bought my dress a few months ago and am currently working on accessories. I have been trying to update the wedding website with as many details as possible, but we're at a standstill. When January rolls around, we are going to work on saving blocks of rooms at some of the nearby hotels. Then we'll work on the nitty-gritty: invitations, moving into a new apartment, honeymoon, etc...

I think that's it for now. We're off to Chicago for a few days, so I'll post another update and pictures when we get back. Also, if you're in town for Christmas Eve, CrossPointe is having three services this year: 10:30 am, 5:30 & 7:30 pm. Come on out and join us. I'll be singing so be sure to wave when you come in.

Ciao!

School Violence

2006-10-22T19:50:00.000-04:00

I am sure that if you have listened to, watched, or read the news at least once during the past month or so, you've seen something about an instance of school violence. Pennsylvania, Colorado, Florida...

This week in Orange County, the county in which I call home, the school system that signs my paychecks, the area that I devote so much time to, experienced three acts of violence. Two attempts to cause harm were diverted; one resulted in the death of a 15-year-old boy. Last Monday, a 17-year-old student walked into his high school carrying a semi-automatic gun and ten bullets in his backpack. Luckily someone told the school administration and the student was apprehended and arrested before someone could get hurt. The news reported that he had the intention to kill.

On Friday, an 11-year-old student brought five knives to his middle school, one of which was eight inches long. Again, someone alerted the school administration and the child was apprehended. Apparently this child had the intention to harm as part of a gang retaliation plan.
But on this past Thursday, a violent attempt was not stopped. During dismissal at Phil's school, a 17-year-old student stabbed a 15-year-old student three times in the stomach and once in the back of the neck. He then dodged under a school bus, changed his clothes, and ran. After getting the entire into lockdown and conducting a search, the police found the boy and the knife. The child was then arrested and will be tried as an adult for premeditated murder. According to the news the motive was a disagreement over a girl.

Earlier this week, I had a discussion with my classes about fear. We spent some time identifying our fears; then we tried to personify and create our fears out of construction paper. As you can expect, my students asked me what some of my fears are. I shared my fear of big hairy spiders, of the dark after watching horror films, of being alone, of failing, and my list went on. This is the third time I've done this activity with students and this is the first time I added this fear to my list: getting hurt or killed at work. I shared this with my students; they pondered my response for a few seconds, and then someone said, "But Miss, we wouldn't kill you. We love you." I had to tell them that I am not afraid of my students, but I am afraid of irrate parents and irrational students. They understood what I meant immediately.

Tears have come to my eyes at random moments this weekend. Sometimes it's because I am thankful that Phil was not hurt on Thursday; sometimes it's because I think of the parents of these children. Most of the time the tears come because my heart breaks for the children in our schools. I don't understand how a person can get so angry that they feel the only way out is to take another person's life. These are children. Children that people in education have devoted thier lives to. Where are they getting these ideas? Who is taking care of them?

It's a difficult time to be a teacher. It's a difficult time to be a student.

Snakes On A Plane

2006-08-20T19:48:00.000-04:00

You MUST go see this movie. Do not wait for it to go to DVD; you have to watch it in a crowded movie theater with friends. It will make all the difference. I was actually entertained by this B-movie. I laughed, I cried, I screamed, I got grossed out...it was tons o' fun.

Favorite quote: "I am tired of these muthaf&^%$* snakes on this muthaf&^%$* plane!"

Oh, go check out the website. Samuel L. Jackson will call you. http://www.snakesonaplane.com/

JOHNNY DEPP LOVES ME!!!!

2006-08-15T21:38:00.000-04:00

Do you know who Jeffrey Rush is? The famous actor from such movies as Quills and Pirates of the Caribbean #1? Well, apparently I have his niece in one of my classes. I didn't know this until today when she walked up to me and said, "I have a present for you." She handed me two promo pictures from the first Pirates movie. One had Jeffrey Rush on it; the other had Johnny Depp. She went on to tell me that Rush is her uncle (they have the same last name and I never made the connection), and last week she called him and told him that her English teacher is in love with Johnny Depp, who coincidentally is currently shooting the third Pirates movie with Rush. According to my student, Rush sent her these pictures to give to me. I told her that I don't believe her. She convinced me that it is true, but she doesn't really like to tell her peers because she doesn't want to be bothered. I can understand that.

Anyway, as we were talking, I began to look closer and noticed that both pictures were autographed; one by Rush and one by the number one man on my "celebrity list" (if you don't know what a celebrity list is, email me). I was smiling cheek to cheek, but the bell rang so we had to get to work. At the end of class, I had my students complete an activity where they wrote me a note with questions or comments about what we learned during class. This particular student wrote that her uncle told Depp that her English teacher is in love with him and he responded with, "I am flattered."
I
sn't that just the craziest thing you've ever heard? So not only do I have the niece of a famous actor, but his and JOHNNY DEPP'S autograph, and he's flattered that I am totally in love with him.

I just hope this student isn't totally tricking me. For now I'll believe her. ;-)

A Burden Lifted

2006-07-19T12:00:00.000-04:00

Last week I received some news regarding a relationship from my past. My first reaction was, "I'm not surprised." Then I called my mom. She reminded me that God will always reveal himself and that this specific situation is a confirmation of what He and others have been telling me for years, "You am not a failure." I hung up the phone and pondered the conversation and the situation. For the first time in four years, I felt my shoulders lift (regarding this particular relationship). I smiled and thanked God for being faithful. I am not happy about this situation and I am not shirking any responsibilty that I had in my past relationship, but for once I can say, "It wasn't me."

On another note: I have been taking advantage of my time this summer to clean out closets, drawers, cabinets, etc... Even though Phil and I aren't moving in together until we get married, I've been trying to prepare for moving. I have moved enough times and know that once school starts, time will be very limited. Anyway, I cleaned out my storage closet the other day. In there I found a box filled with all of my memorabilia from my first marriage. I started going through things to make sure there was nothing that I felt I needed to keep. I looked at pictures, read some cards and notes... what a different person I have become. I am a much more positive, much happier, more fulfilled with my life; my relationship with God is closer and honest making my relationship with Phil very close, honest, and faithful. I smiled as I threw everything away; not an evil, vindictive smile but a smile of relief.

I had two very heavy trash bags and a box of stuff to throw away so I waited for Phil to come over for dinner to help me. He helped me carry everything to the trash compactor and helped me throw everything in. As we threw the memorabilia in the compactor, I could hear glass breaking, frames cracking and various other noises. The compactor started up and the noise grew louder as it was all compacted into a neat, little cube of my past. I started laughing and Phil looked at me and smiled, "Do you feel better?" I actually do. I have officially accepted my past and moved beyond the hurt. I can see what God has been doing in me for the past four years and finally understand that I needed to go through all of that "crap" to get to where I am today. I am so excited about my future. Thank you Lord!

To My Fellow Educators or Anyone Interested In the Future of American Education

2006-07-12T21:14:00.000-04:00

I have been reading the posts on a particular blog for the past few months. There are some really interesting and insightful things on here, all regarding education. The author has trouble spelling correctly sometimes, but I chalk that up to "thinking faster than you can type". He is a fellow high school teacher, but does a lot of reading on current trends in education. He also has a lot of links to other teacher-bloggers.

Check it out: http://www.ahighcall.blogspot.com/

Blah Blog

2006-07-03T17:32:00.000-04:00

I know I haven't been posting much this summer; there's really not too much going on, not to mention I AM ADDICTED TO MYSPACE!!!

I just got back from Dallas, TX, where I was taking part in a week-long training session on teaching Pre-AP. For all of you who took AP classes in high school, the new trend is Pre-AP classes. These are classes in the ninth and tenth grade that are aimed at studying their particular curriculum but in a way that will prepare hard working students for their upper-class classes. I am really excited about this year, but it will not be an easy one.

Wedding planning is moving along. Jackie has been hired as our wedding planner and she is absolutely awesome. If you have a wedding in your future, and will have enough money to hire a planner, Jackie is highly worth it. She is helping us create a dream wedding. I am so excited that I get to have the wedding I always envisioned. It is going to be such a blast!!

That's really all I have right now. I am sure as the school year and wedding get closer and closer, I'll have plenty to blog about; for now, I'm out!!

Engagement Photos

2006-06-08T23:33:00.000-04:00

If you want to see our engagement photos, check out MySpace: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=50136029&MyToken=5b96d83f-18f6-422f-b1d8-e26f044e2282

Poetic Moment

2006-05-26T09:48:00.000-04:00

God's Wheel by Shel Silverstein

God says to me with a kind of smile,

"Hey how would you like to be God awhile

And steer the world?"

"Okay," says I, "I'll give it a try.

Where do I set?

How much do I get?

What time is lunch?

When can I quit?"

"Gimme back that wheel," says God.

"I don't think you're quite ready yet."

I Am Such A Dork!!

2006-05-25T16:54:00.000-04:00

You're a 90's kid if:
-You've ever ended a sentence with the word "SIKE!"
-You can sing the rap to The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air
-You remember when Kurt Cobain, Tu Pac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.
-You know that "WOAH!" comes from Joey on Blossom and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie on Full House.
-You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
-You remember reading Goosebumps
-You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off."
-You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
-You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
-You danced to Wannabe by the Spice Girls. (So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.)
-You remember the craze then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.
-You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence. Not...
-Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.
-Captain Planet
-You remember when Super Nintendos became popular.
-You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders."
-I've fallen and I can't get up!"
-You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
-Two words: Trapper Keeper.
-You ever got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide.
-You wore socks over leggings scrunched down.
-"Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back. SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS PHANTS PHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE. He jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didn't come back back back til the fourth of July ly ly.
-You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
-You remember when New Kids on The Block were cool.
-You knew all the characters names and their life stories on Saved By The Bell.
-You played and or collected pogs.
-You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles.
-Encycolpedia Brown was the best mystery books series.
-Gack was the coolest thing ever when it made that fart noise.
-All your school supplies were Lisa Frank brand.
-You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.
-You used to wear those stick-on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.
-You remember a time before the WB.
-You've gotten creeped out by Are You Afraid of the Dark?
-You know the Macarena by heart.
-"Talk to the hand." ... enough said.
-You thought Brain woud finally take over the world.
-You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
-You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.
When we were younger:
-Before the MySpace frenzy.
-Before the Internet & text messaging.
-Before Sidekicks & iPods.
-Before MIKE JONES
-Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX.
-WHEN LIGHT UP SNEAKERS WERE COOL.
-When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
-When gas was $0.69 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.
-When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.
-When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.
-When 2Pac and Biggie where alive.
-When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.
-Bill Nye the Science Guy.
-MR ROGERS!!!!
-When Toys 'R Us overuled the mall.
-DID I DO THAAAAAAAAAT???
-Skip It and Bop It.

You're a 90s kid if you read this and smiled and laughed at least five of these.

Update

2006-05-22T07:59:00.000-04:00

Well, this week closes another school year!! WOOHOO!! This year was a really good one for me--I think it has been my strongest year so far. We got our writing scores back and none of mine failed. We haven't received reading scores, so I am not sure what my gains are yet; still crossing my fingers. My school is sending me to vast amounts of training this summer, therefore making me incapable to work or go to grad school. I am getting trained in a writing program that we are piloting, AP training in Dallas, TX, and AVID training in Atlanta, GA. I am very excited about all these opportunities. Plus, all the alone time in hotels will give me the time to catch up on my leisure reading. :-)

Grad school is going well. I finished my second semester with straight A's. I am doing better now as a grad student with a full-time job and a life than when I had all the time in the world as an undergrad. If all goes well, I will finish my degree next summer. That means next July I will be celebrating my honeymoon, my graduation, and my 30th birthday. That will be AWESOME!!!

The wedding planning is going well. It gets a bit frustrating at times, but I think we've narrowed down our options. Thank God I have Phil to help me because he as into the planning as I am and he notices all the little money "thigs" that I miss. I think we've pretty much decided on a venue but we have one more outdoor possibility to look at today. Our goal is to have a contract signed by the end of the week. We've also added one more person to each side of the wedding party, making a grand total of five on each side! One of Phil's best friends is a girl, and he really wants to include her, so I've asked Brian M. to stand up on my side. So does that make him a bride's man? Hmm... I'm not going to make him wear a dress, although that would be humorous for all those around.

We went to our first bridal show yesterday. HOLY CRAP!! Even I was a bit overwhelmed by all the "stuff" and crazy women. If they had a man's lounge, I think I would've gone to sit in there for a little while. My favorite party was tasting the cake. Yummm. Oh, and I won a tiara. How perfect--a tiara for a princess.

We are hoping to get our engagement pictures done this week. Once those are available, I'll send the link to everyone. This whole process is going to be lots of fun, so there will be lots of updates.

More to follow...

It Begins

2006-05-10T21:42:00.000-04:00

Phil and I have begun wedding planning and it is a bit overwhelming. I've heard about weddings being expensive, but now I know how expensive. We have not set a date yet because we need to find a venue first. We have checked out a few places and have some ideas; we have a few more to visit before we make a final decision. The one thing we have decided on is that we want to get married next May after school gets out. We have both also decided on our wedding party. I can't tell you who Phil's party is because he hasn't informed them, but my party consists of Melanie, Tracey, Karis, and Lauren. I am very excited to spend the most exciting year of my life with these ladies.

Aside: I was thinking out loud the other day about how this is my second wedding. I was discussing how this has been a little more of an adjustment than I thought it would be. Honestly though, I was not this excited the first time. I mean, yes I was excited, but not in the same way. This is the way it should have felt. God had a plan for my life and I can start to see it coming to fruition. How exciting!!

Once Upon A Time...

2006-05-02T18:03:00.000-04:00

Well, due to the massive amounts of email, I've cleared my schedule for the evening to ensure enough time to blog the juicy details of the latest development in my life. :-)

First I have to give some background information so that you'll be able to understand the entire scenario, but you have to promise not to judge me (you'll understand that comment soon enough)...

Once upon a time, in the far away land of Orlando, FL, there was a princess named Jessie...

About three years ago, Phil and I began dating. We had been together for roughly four months when my insecurities got the best of me and we broke up. I broke up with Phil on Valentine's Day, 2004. I know, I know... I've been listening to the jokes for a few years. Anyway, we didn't speak for a few months, for obvious reasons, but then we began talking again. I knew I still had feelings for Phil and was pretty sure he still had feelings for me. He was still hurt, with good reason, but we grew closer and closer. On May 9, 2004, I was chaperoning a prom. At the time, Mike Kelley and I worked at the same school, and we decided to make a fun evening out of it and actually double dated with some friends from church. Even though I was interested in getting back together with Phil, I had already committed to bring a different date to the prom (that's sounds so high school...). At one point in the evening, I received a text message from Phil that said "Meet me downstairs." I went downstairs and there was Phil, all dressed up, holding a carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream (my favorite). We sat outside for about 20 minutes, talking and eating ice cream. Then I had to go back inside and complete my duties for the evening. When I got home, Phil met me and we went out for a drink. It was then that we decided to get back together.

Fast forward two years later, April 29, 2006. I was chaperoning another prom (my first set of 10th graders at FHS are graduating this year). Phil could not attend with me because he was playing the piano for UHS's production of Evita. I was bummed, but understood that it comes with the job. At around 11:15, I received a text message that said, "Meet me at the lagoon." I had no idea where the lagoon was and didn't know if I'd be able to leave early since I was actually helping with something. Finally at 11:45, I got permission to leave prom early and went to go find this lagoon. At this point, I sorta' had an incling as to what was going to happen. When I got there, Phil was all dressed up, waiting for me. He handed me a rose and told me he loved me. Then we sat down and he handed me a carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream. I was freezing, so I asked him to open the ice cream for me, but he said no. At this point I was sure as to what was happening. Why else wouldn't Phil open a carton of ice cream for me? When I opened it up, inside was a jewlery box and inside the box was the most gorgeous engagement ring I have EVER seen. By this point, Phil was down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Of course, I said yes!!

And that's the beginning of OUR story...

Guess Who's Engaged?

2006-04-30T02:17:00.000-04:00

PHIL AND I ARE!!!!

Phil proposed to me this evening, and of course I said YES!!!! There will be many more details to follow. YAY!!!!

P.S. I cannot seem to get a very good picture of the ring, but I'll keep working on it.

Tina's Wedding

2006-04-23T21:44:00.000-04:00

I just returned from my sister's wedding weekend. Tina and Justin finally tied the knot yesterday afternoon. It was a very pretty wedding; they had it outside at Riverside Park, Vero Beach. Luckily the rain held off until everyone got to the reception. Cheryl and I were bridesmaids and Ronny walked Tina down the isle to The Broken Road by Rascal Flatts. Their colors were black, white, and pink. We had a lot of fun at the reception, but some of us drank a little too much champagne. I think my favorite parts were when we all walked into the reception hall to White Wedding by Billy Idol (only Tina could pull that one off), dancing with Phil to For Once In My Life (our song), and watching my mom double-fist champagne and coffee. The lesson learned from the evening: don't drink the leftover champagne!!! We wish those two lots of luck and hope they know that we are all praying for them. Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Price. We love you!!

Check out the pictures: http://picturesfromthemindofaprincess.shutterfly.com/action/?a=8EYs2ThqycMPi

Thank You for the Honor

2006-04-15T17:06:00.000-04:00

This week I was voted as the Freedom High School representative for LATOYA (Language Arts Teacher of the Year Award). Two teachers from each school are chosen, one beginning teacher and one experienced teacher. I was voted as the experienced teacher, which means I am getting old. I had to rush to put a packet together that is representative of me and my educational practices and philosophies. Three of my students wrote fantastic and heart-touching recommendations. My principal wrote a recommendation that brought tears to my eyes. My department chair wrote a letter, but I am not sure what it said because it had to be placed in a sealed envelope. Due to the quick-timing, my principal personally took it downtown for me. I am now in the running for the county winner. I'll find out in August. Stayed tuned!!

Congratulations

2006-04-10T16:21:00.000-04:00

I have been so busy finishing this semester of grad school and getting caught up with my grading at work, I've failed to congratulate a few people in my life:

Congratulations...
Dave and Lauren on your 5th wedding anniversary.
Melanie and Steve on your new baby girl.
Melanie and Steve on your 3rd wedding anniversary.
Brian and Cheryl on the successful launch of Suncoast.
Tina and Justin on your upcoming wedding (April 22nd).
Katie and Matt on your upcoming wedding (May 13th).

Happy Birthday...
Stacey Kilgore
Lauren Johnson
James Henderson

I know some of these are very belated, but I hope you had (will have) an awesome day. Love ya!! MUAH!!!!!

FINALLY!!!!

2006-03-22T22:21:00.000-05:00

Finally America got it correct...

CHICKEN LITTLE IS GONE!!!!

2006-03-22T22:16:00.000-05:00

GONE GONE GONE!!!!!!

Chicago, March 2006

2006-03-17T15:26:00.000-05:00

The high school marching band that I work with was invited to participate in the 11th Annual St. Patrick's Day Parade in Chicago, Illinois. I was given the opportunity to travel with the band, and since Phil and I have been talking about moving to Chicago, I jumped at this opportunity. It was an exhausting, yet very enjoyable trip.

Thursday: After a long day of school (the last week of FCAT combined with the impending Spring Break antics), we all loaded onto three charter buses to embark on the 24-hour drive to Chicago, Illinois.

Friday: After approximately three meal stops, a few bathroom breaks, two or three restless naps, 29 chatty kids (on my bus) that refused to sleep, and three dvds, we finally pulled into Chicago at 2:30 pm central time. We unloaded the buses and headed to our hotel rooms. Tracey and I roomed together, so we decided to take a quick tour of the hotel and then rested for a little while. That evening, we set out for our first group excursion: dinner at Ed Debevic's (www.eddebevics.com) and Wicked (http://www.wickedthemusical.com/Chicago/). Ed Debevic's was very interesting: the servers insulted you, yelled for various reasons, and then jumped onto the tables to perform a poorly choregraphed lip-sync to a cheesy pop song. If I wasn't still in grad school, I'd quit teaching and work at this place--I'd fit right in. Wicked was awesome! It's my favorite musical, so I could watch it over and over; the best part was watching the kids enjoy it. They loved it! Many of them had read the book and/or listened to the soundtrack, so for them to see it all come to life was an amazing experience.

Saturday: We woke up early to prepare for the parade, got dressed, and marched over to the parade site. We stood around for a few hours just waiting for the parade to begin. It was quite amusing watching all the drunk people look at the marching band. At one point, a group of drunk college students came over to the band to take pictures. I am not sure who was more fascinated, the drunk college students or the band members taking all this in. It was a chilly morning but by step-off time, noonish, it was in the 60s. Apparently this was a pretty abnormal day, weather-wise. One of the camera guys told us that it is normally in the 20s on parade day. The parade commentators told the crowd that the band from Florida brought the weather with us and even talked about us on the news--the kids got a kick out of that. Once the parade was over, we walked over to see the toxic green river. I guess it is a city tradition to dye the river green right before the parade begins each year. The kids didn't really care, but I was entertained. I think the kids were more excited by the skyscrapers than the green river. We headed back to the hotel to get ready for our next group excursion: dinner and dancing on Lake Michigan, off the coast of the Navy Pier (http://www.navypier.com), and then a perfomance of the Chicago Symphony (http://www.cso.org/). Dinner was good, but watching the kids dance while the boat rocked back and forth was better. Dramamine was the most requested item of the night. Once we stepped back onto dry land, we headed over to the symphony hall. Tracey and I were given the option to enjoy the city while the kids watched the symphony, something to do with limited tickets. Since Phil and I are planning on returning to Chicago in the summer, I figured I could see the symphony them when I was a little less sleep-deprived. It was not the evening on the town that you'd imagine. We ended up walking around the city just to find out that everything closes at 7 or 8 pm. So we headed over to the Sears Tower, which closes at 8 pm (we got there at 8:05). Then it started raining! Now I can say that I leaned against the Sears Tower and ate at a hole-in-the-wall restuarant.

Sunday: We got to sleep in, but then had to pack. After checking out and loading the buses, we headed to the Museum of Science and Industry (http://www.msichicago.org/). I love museums but because of our tight schedule, we only had enough time to visit one exhibit, eat lunch, and shop in the gift shop. Then we headed over to a six-story indoor mall. We didn't have much time so we shopped for touristy Chicago items. We then loaded up the buses and headed to the Briar Street Theater to watch a Blue Man Group (http://www.blueman.com/) performance. I was entertained by the Blue Man Group, but I am not sure if I'd ever go see it again. I really enjoyed watching the kids enjoy themselves with this quirky, percussion-based show. After taking pictures and getting autographs, we headed to Gino's East (www.ginoseast.com) for Chicago-style pizza, which gave me heartburn to endure on the trip home. After dinner, we headed to the Hancock Observatory to finally see the Chicago skyline at night, but because of the weather, the directors decided to head toward home. I was a little disappointed but I'm sure Phil and I will have the chance to visit this when we return in July.

Monday: It took us 25 hours to get home!! As much as I enjoyed the trip, I was excited to be back. The kids were great, and the city was awesome, making this a pretty enjoyable trip. I have decided that whether Phil goes to Northestern or not, I am moving to Chicago. I am a new fan of Chi-town.

Check out the rest of my photos: http://picturesfromthemindofaprincess.shutterfly.com/action/?a=8EYs2ThqycMOm

Spring Break

2006-03-09T07:18:00.000-05:00

CHICAGO, HERE I COME!!!!!!!

Oscar Wrapup

2006-03-06T11:42:00.000-05:00

CRASH WON!!!!!!

The Grammar Police

2006-03-05T19:00:00.000-05:00

Look carefully at this sign, paying particular attention to the second line.

Did you catch it? This is not a joke. Phil and I really saw this sign last night. My English-teacher heart is breaking. **SIGH**

The Important Stuff: Movies and Food

2006-03-04T13:22:00.000-05:00

WOW, it's been a long time since I've written on this thing. Instead of giving you the low-down on all that's been going on, let me tell you about the important stuff: movies and food!!

The reason I've been so lax in updating my blog is because I've been really busy with school, work, and my health. Grad school has been kicking my butt this semester, but I've got really interesting classes, so it hasn't been too horrible keeping up--just time consuming. Work is great, even though we are right smack in the middle of FCAT. I feel the most comfortable I've ever been about my students this year compared to the previous four years. There is just something about this year's students... Finally, I've been really sick. Rarely do I get sick but when I do, holy crap! This year I contracted some sort of throat infection. The doctor didn't tell me exactly what caused it, although his comments made me think it had something to do with my sinuses. All I know is that for a little while there, every time I swallowed, it felt like I was swallowing glass. It was awful.

Ok, now on to the good stuff... I must tell you about a few movies and a few restaurants we've been to recently. First the movies: We went to see a couple of the Oscar contenders over the past few weeks and I have to be honest, I'm not all that impressed. First, we got sucked up into the hype about Brokeback Mountain. Unlike many of my friends, I don't really care about the homosexual relationship in the story. I wanted to see it because everyone I spoke with said this movie was amazing. Were they all high when they saw it? I absolutely hated this movie! It was sooooooo boring. I literally fell asleep. I thought the dialogue was poorly constructed, the plot was anti-climactic, but the scenery was beautiful.

The second movie we saw was Walk the Line. Now, we wanted to see this film when it was first released, and then we kinda' didn't care. Last weekend nothing interesting was in the theaters, so we finally went to see this one. Phil fell asleep, but I loved it! I don't know what exactly it was about the movie, but I enjoyed it thoroughly. Both Reese and Joaquin (I don't know how to spell it) did a great job. The story itself was very interesting, and the music was great. I got a kick out of seeing Tyler Hilton play Elvis. I ended up buying this DVD earlier in the week.

Lastly, we finally saw Transamerica. This was a terrific movie. Felicity Huffman did a phenomenal job playing a man wanting to become a woman. She surely deserves the Oscar for this performance. The main character was likeable, the plot was interesting, and the dialogue was quirky. I highly recommend this one.

Ok, now onto the food: We've visited a few new restaurants over the past few months and so I thought I'd pass on the recommendations. First, Cafe Tu Tu Tango. We visited this restaurant for the first time on New Year's Eve. Then we visited it again with a large group of friends about two weeks ago. I love this place!! It is very artsy-fartsy. All of the decor is made of art-pieces created by local artists, and you can purchase anything on the walls. The music is ok, just an eclectic mix of cafe-type music. Every now and then a belly dancer or flamenco dancer will come out and dance (they aren't very good). The best thing about this place is the food. All they serve are appetizer a la carte. It can get bit pricey, but it is totally worth it. My favorite is the Tuna sashimi (sushi). Also, they have the best sangria EVER!.

The second restaurant we've been to recently is Seasons 52. This is the more expensive of the two, but the tastiest. The menu changes every season. We visited during the winter so the vegetables and main courses were all based around things that are fresh during the winter. Everything is very healthy-I think the waitress said less than 450 carbs or calories, I can't really remember. The wine selection is amazing and the dessert is to die for! I highly recommend this place if you are looking for a more intimate atmosphere (we went on Valentine's Day weekend).

I think that's it for now. Spring Break is coming up so I'll let you know how the trip to Chicago went.

Sick...

2006-02-21T15:25:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posting. I really do have things to post--I've had two fun weekends in a row. I've been sick for the past week, and that has knocked me onto my butt. I'll update soon--I PROMISE!!!

Your Last Day On Earth

2006-02-12T22:58:00.000-05:00

Have you ever watched the show Grey's Anatomy? I don't usually, but tonight it was on as I was getting organized for the week. Something about this particualr show's ending caught my attention, so I stopped to watch the concluding scene. The narrator was talking about her last day on Earth. She said, "If today was your last day on earth, how would you spend it?"

What a thought! For some reason, I got tears in my eyes. I know exactly what I would do. I would spend the day with Phil just singing and praising God. I know without a shadow of doubt in my mind that is what I would do. Again, what a thought! I have never really thought about it before, but it strikes me as comforting that I know eactly what I would do.

My life is a good one. It has had ups and downs, but as I was telling someone last night, those ups and downs are what have molded me into who I am today. Thank you Lord for my life: past, present, and future! Thank you for everything you have blessed me with and everyone you have blessed me with. Thank you for Your Son. As the song says, "Thank you for saving me, for loving me."

So, if today was your last day on Earth, how would you spend it?

Wicked

2006-01-26T11:35:00.000-05:00

I FINALLY SAW WICKED!!!!!

Last night, Phil and I traveled to Tampa to see the national tour of the Broadway hit, Wicked. I absolutely loved it. This musical has now taken the place of my long-time favorite, Miss Saigon.

Wicked is the untold story of the witches from the classic book, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. The viewers are giving the story of Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, and Galinda, Glinda the Good. I've read the book (one of my favorites), but went into the theater knowing not to expect the same story line. Even though the events in the musical were different, the essential message of "wickedness as a choice or being thrust upon someone" was the same.

Everything about the production was amazing! The sets and costumes were so imaginative and colorful. The vocalists were pretty good (no one takes the place of Idina Menzel). The character of Galinda was perfect. The incorporation of the original story of the The Wonderful Wizard of Oz was very creative, expecially the scene with Dorothy and figuring out how the Cowardly Lion, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow all came about. I particularly enjoyed the songs "Popular" and "Wicked Deeds Don't Go Unpunished." My favorite scene was "Defying Gravity", when Elphaba flew on her broomstick. The creativity behind that!!!!

I do have one complaint: the ending. I won't give it away, but I did not like the feel-good ending of the plot. Even though I've read the book, I still like the tragic ending Gregory Maguire crafted in his novel much better than the ending I viewed last night.

I highly recommend this musical. It truly is a magical exerience.

Tag! You're It!

2006-01-16T14:23:00.000-05:00

My friend from S.Florida, Alice, tagged me with the Questions of Fours.

I am enjoying my day off of school in honor of MLKJR. I should be cleaning, creating FCAT preparation folders for some colleagues, doing homework, scanning some activities for my reading class, getting ready to watch Oprah announce the high school essay contest, and getting a jumpstart on my next book. Instead, I'll procrastinate with this questionnaire:

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. 1994-1998: Enter the World of Retail: began as a clerk in a little design shop in downtown St.Cloud, FL. I did anything the boss wanted me to do: dust, clean, organize, ring up customers, answer phones, sit there and do nothing. Moved on to working as a cashier and office person at Winn-Dixie for a few years. Then, worked as a cashier and associate floor manager at J.C. Penny.
2. 1999: Was a librarian at the St. Cloud Public Library. Go figure!!
3. 2000-2001: Worked to help pay the bills first as a photographer at Sears Photo Studio and then as an office-clerk at Applied Concepts.
4. 2001-2003: Working as a Journalism and English teacher at South Fork High School in Stuart, FL. 2003-current: Working as an English teacher at Freedom High School in Orlando, FL.

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Beaches-Reminds me of my college girlfriends and makes me cry my eyes out.
2. Office Space-HAHA!! "Did you get the memo...?"
3. Mean Girls-I am the teacher in that movie.
4. Crash-My favorite movie.

Four places you have lived:
1. Connecticut (Waterbury, Willimantic, Naugatuck)
2. St. Cloud, FL
3. South Florida (Lantana, Port St. Lucie, Jensen Beach, Stuart)
4. Orlando, FL

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Sex in the City
2. One Tree Hill
3. Dawson's Creek
4. American Idol

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Bahamas (senior trip in high school)
2. Chapquidic Island (an island next to Martha's Vineyard, our family rented a cottage for two weeks)
3. Shelby Farms, TN (for OneDay 2000)
4. Dallas-Fort Worth, TX (Passion '99)

Four websites I visit daily:
1. Various blogs updated by friends (and my own)
2. WeatherChannel.com (Florida's weather is too unpredictable to dress accordingly in the morning)
3. The homepage for whatever online grad course I am taking (this semester it is Developmental Reading)
4. My Wamu (my banking activity)

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Sushi-a new-found love
2. Wings and cheap beer-I can't help it, I live across the street from an Ale House.
3. Any type of veggi
4. ICE CREAM!!!

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. In bed-It's going to be a long week so I have a feeling I won't be visiting my bed very much this week.
2. Australia-I really, really, REALLY want to visit Hillsongs in Sydney.
3. England-One of my dreams is to visit The Globe Theatre.
4. Sitting on a beach-I think I need to relax a bit, away from everyone.

I tag my closest friend Melanie, my former roommate and dancing partner (we need to go out soon) Katie, and my newest friend Janice. I should try to go get some work done before having to endure on hour of Oprah to just find out about this essay contest for my students.

The Part of Teaching No One Warned Me About

2006-01-10T11:36:00.000-05:00

At the start of my lunch today I received a phone call. One of my students passed away. I didn't know how to respond. My first words were, "Wow! What happened?" All I was told is that there were medical complications. After hanging up, I didn't know what to do, so I emailed Phil, my mom, and Tracey. Phil was busy so he couldn't say much. My mom offered her thoughts and prayers, and Tracey shared with me a story about when she had to deal with a similiar situation.

I have gotten teary-eyed, but haven't cried...it feels weird to cry at school...

Students have begun to hear the news, and have come to talk to me. I have the "privilege" to talk to my 6th period class (the class in which this student was in) about the death. What a way to end the day...

This is difficult.

Etiquette Addendum

2006-01-01T13:06:00.000-05:00

Ok, so Phil and I went to the movies the other night to see The Producers. We went to one of the theme park theaters, to a 7:10 showing. It was very quiet--PERFECT!! Granted, it's an adult movie whom no one wants to see, but we noticed the fact that it was quiet.

Yesterday, Melanie and I went to see Memiors of a Geisha. Again, perfect crowd. In fact, a child began fussing about one hour into the movie (the child actually turned out to be related to Melanie-hahaha!). The mother was very respectful to the movie-goers around her:she got up and took the child out of the theater until the child calmed back down. YAY MOMMY!!

Ok, I'm done. :-)

Jesus Is the Reason for the Season

2005-12-26T01:19:00.000-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

This weekend I sang and played the flute during our Christmas Eve service at church. Often times when I am involved in a service, I get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everything that's going on; where I am supposed to be, how much time is left, the quality of the music being presented, etc... Even though it was Christmas, I found myself caught up in everything during this service as well. But something struck me at the very end of the service; God tugged at my heart and said "Pay attention!" So I did:

Chan, our senior pastor, had just finished presenting the Christmas story (Luke 2) and reminded us that Jesus really is the reason for the season, even though that line has become somewhat cliche over the past few years. The worship team then got up on stage as Chan prayed, and I led the congregation in Silent Night. Afterwards, another one of our pastors got up to give a benediction, a dismissal prayer. He said that Jesus is the reason for the Old Testament. He is the reason for the New Testament. He is the very reason we celebrate Christmas each year. He is the reason for our joy, and to worship Him is the reason we are here today. But we are the reason He came.

I don't know what it was about that statement, but it brought tears to my eyes both services. I guess it reminded me of my purpose in life. My purpose is not to be an amazing teacher or a straight-A grad student. It is not to be an accomplished employee, a good daughter, or a talented flute player. My purpose is not to be a fabulous singer, a great friend, or an amazing girlfriend. My purpose is to love Christ and learn how to worship Him with all my heart, mind, strength, and soul. If I cannot do that, nothing else is worth it.

I think that statement has helped spell out my New Year's resolution.

A Rant on Etiquette

2005-12-24T10:55:00.000-05:00

I go to the movies quite frequently. Whether it's with Phil or friends, I am usually there about 3 or 4 times a month. We travel between three particular theatres, depending on our tasks for the day and/or cost. In the past two weeks, Phil and I have been to the movies three times, including last night, and plan on going twice next week due to the new Christmas releases. Something that has been really bothering me lately has been the lack of etiquette possessed and displayed by movie-goers. It has become quite bothersome!

For example, last week, on an impulse after standing in line after line at Universal Studios, we decided to go see King Kong. I didn't really want to see this, but you can only see a film such as this one on the big screen once. We paid our money (which wasn't too much considering the location thanks to our theme park annual passes), and rushed to get a good seat. As soon as we sat down, I noticed the loud talking towards the back of the theater. We normally try to sit in the middle of the theater but due to our spontaneity, we walked in just as the previews began, so we sat a little lower than we normally do. Anyway, I noticed the loud talking. I figured it would stop once the movie began, but I was wrong. There was a large group of teenagers sitting in the back talking with normal volume. When the movie got louder, so did their talking! Who pays all that money to talk through a movie?!?! Then, a baby began crying. I'm not talking about a little toddler, I mean a baby maybe a month or two older than a newborn! Who the heck takes a teeny-tiny baby to a movie that is known for it's action sequences??!! Phil was even getting frustrated at the crying. Someone finally got up and asked for a manager's assistance with the baby, but no one said anything to the talkers.

Example #2: Last night, Phil and I visited another theme park theater to see The Chronicles of Narnia. Again, I movie I didn't want to see but we were tired of sitting at home and I had a free ticket to use up. First, we stood in line right next to three of my students. Then, another one of my students helped us at the ticket window. Neither of those have to do with etiquette so I'll move on. Anyway... we got into the theater just as the previews began. Lots of kids and families in this theater but what can you expect from a Disney movie based on a popular children's book? We sit pretty high up in the theater, with enough empty seats in between us and the family to our left and the duo of girls to our right. I've got my buttered popcorn, and my diet Coke--I'm all set. Just as the lights begin to dim, signaling the start of the movie (the movie, not the previews), a huge family of about 11 people comes walking in determined to sit together. They begin crawling over everyone, and finally realized there is no way they can all sit together. So, they split up. The grandparents, the mom, and the youngest of the boys sit right behind us. Let me remind you that the movie has already begun. We've got the duo of girls next to us who have obviously read the books because they are guessing the next thing that is going to happen, and the happy out-of-towners right behind us!! Young child has to cry about going to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so (in a 2 1/2 hour movie), and grandparents who obviously cannot hear well because they keep yelling comments back and forth to each other. I almost lost it when grandpa's cell phone went off and HE ANSWERED IT!!! Keep in mind, they entered the theater as the movie began so they missed the comical reminders to silence your cell phone.

AAAAHHH!! I know I sound a bit mean, I don't hate little kids or the elderly, but I really enjoy going to the movies. I try my best not to interrupt the people around me, and respect the fact that they shelled out just as much money on overpriced popcorn as I did. I guess I expect the etiquette in return. Oh well! It's not going to stop me from going to the movies, but it won't stop me from complaining either! ;-)

P.S. I was actually impressed with King Kong, and Narnia wasn't that bad either (any movie that gets kids reading makes me happy!!). I personally cannot wait to see Memoirs of A Geisha and The Producers. Looks like I'll be spending more time in the theaters this winter break.

Look at these hotties!!

2005-12-17T15:40:00.000-05:00

A friend sent me a link to create these cartoons called Avatar's. The one on the left is Phil and the one on the right is me. What do you think? Try it out: http://avatars.yahoo.com/

School's Out for Winter!!

2005-12-17T15:24:00.000-05:00

WOOHOO!! As of 11:50 yesterday morning, I do not have to deal with students until January 3rd!! Grad school is out until January 9th!! It's been a decent school year so far. Let's see what 2006 has in store...

Evil and Horrible Ms. Herrick

2005-12-06T15:12:00.000-05:00

I have a reputation with students for being the crazy teacher that is demanding. Most of my students say that I expect a lot out of them, but my class is fun at the same time (because I enjoy my subject area). I have a reputation with colleagues for being the peppy, loud-mouthed, young English teacher who looks like one of the students and has a good FCAT rating. Well, today I did something really evil and horrible and feel terrible about it.

My 6th period class is a reading class for the 11th and 12th grade students who have taken the FCAT at least once and failed. They took their retakes in October and just received their scores back last week. More than half of my students passed. Hallelujah!! Of those who failed, I expected about half of them to pass, so I've been feeling really bad for them, and they've been feeling bad for themselves.

Today, towards the beginning of class, one of the kids was complaining about how he didn't pass the FCAT and that the test is crap, blah, blah, blah. For the most part I agreed with him, but on the inside I was pondering the reasons why he didn't pass. He is one of the ones I am confused about because he is really smart (and a little lazy), and has been working diligently all semester long. Later on in class, he was goofing off or talking, I don't even remember. I stopped my lesson, and stood there silently waiting for him to finish. Finally he realized, stopped, and made some smart-alec comment. I got frustrated and responded with, "And you wonder why you didn't pass the FCAT--you sit there and goof off and ignore what I am trying to teach you." I immediately saw the hurt on his face and heard the defensiveness in his voice. He came back with some comment, but I can't remember--it was probably something I deserved. He shut down for the rest of class.

I have been thinking about this incident since school ended today. I feel really horrible. I am supposed to help these kids, not hurt them. I wouldn't be surprised if I lost all the trust from these students I've been working hard all semester to gain. My plan is to apologize to this student before he comes to class tomorrow, and to apologize to the class for demeaning one of their peers in front of them. That still doesn't erase what I did.

Grad School Finals

2005-12-01T11:02:00.000-05:00

ONLY ONE MORE WEEK UNTIL THE SEMESTER ENDS!!! Begin praying!! I'll keep you posted on the success (I hope) of my first semester of grad school.

Down in the Valley

2005-11-26T16:09:00.000-05:00

I've been going through a rough patch in my life lately. When you look at the surface, it seems like everything is well and when you really get down to it, it should be. I should be happy. I keep telling everyone that things are great and things are going well, and that I am the happiest I've ever been. I really don't think that is the truth though and I cannot explain why I feel as sad as I do. I don't feel happy and I don't know what to do to make me happy. Work is really good, grad school is going well, church is ok, my relationship with Phil was great but because I've felt bad, I can feel it affecting our relationship. I blame my mood and emotions on everyone and everything around me, but the problem is within me. I just don't know how to fix it.

Honestly, why do I work so hard at my job? What do I get in the long run? Recognition? A pay raise? Crap from students? Complaints that my class sucks and I'm a bitch? Why am I going to grad school? Is it going to make me a better person? Is my pay raise really going to be substantial enough to cover the debt I am going into? When I take away school and work, what is left? Honestly? I used to be passionate about church and God, but I don't have time for that anymore. I used to have lots of friends, but I don't think I even have them anymore. I continue to push Phil away and blame how I feel on his busyness.

What is it going to take to make me happy with my life?

Jessie's Book Picks

2005-11-20T18:50:00.000-05:00

Because I am such an advocate of reading, I've decided to start a whole new blog: Jessie's Book Picks. Book Picks has been designed to fill you in on some of my favorite and not so favorite books. I have given a brief description of the book, my experiences with it, and why you should or should not read the book.

Feel free to visit: http://jessiesbookpicks.blogspot.com/ (There is also a link on the sidebar of this blog.)

Happy Reading!!

Random Countdowns

2005-11-20T14:57:00.000-05:00

approx. 3 hours, 3 minutes until Phil gets back into town
2 days until the Marc Broussard concert
4 days until Thanksgiving (yummmmm)
8 days until my first major grad school research paper is due
15 days until my first semester of grad school comes to a close
26 days until Winter Break
1 month, 5 days until Christmas
1 month, 11 days until New Year's Eve
1 month, 17 days until Phil's 29th birthday
2 months, 5 days until Wicked!!
3 months, 17 days until my trip to Chicago (and another viewing of Wicked), and Spring Break
6 months, 5 days until Summer Break
7 months, 23 days until my 29th birthday

Okay, I think I've procrastinated long enough...time to get back to that 20 page paper that's due in 8 days.

100,000 and Counting Baby!!

2005-11-17T16:48:00.000-05:00

As you can see from the photo, my car has crossed the 100,000 miles mark. Now, the last time I had a vehical that had that many miles died not shortly after 100,000. I think I can beat my record...

2005-11-17T16:47:00.000-05:00

100,001 miles on my 2001 Ford Explorer. Let's hope it'll go 100,000 miles more.

Three Years...Almost to the Day

2005-11-12T09:58:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow marks the three year anniversary of the finalization of my divorce from Adam. It's not a happy occasion, but it's not a sad one either. I won't be going to the Ale House to have a toast. I won't be going in my closet to find old wedding pictures to burn. I won't be going to the pawn shop to get rid of my ring, and I won't be sitting in a corner crying my eyes out. Looking back, I don't remember everything. I remember the shock, the pain, the relief, but I cannot remember everything as vivid as I thought I would when it was all actually happening.

I can remember the day it happened. It was a normal day, the Tuesday after Easter, April 2005. We both had worked that day, ate dinner together, and then went to worship team rehearsal. We weren't scheduled to be on the worship team, but I was scheduled to sing a solo and Adam was going to play guitar. The song was "I'm Alright" by FFH (how ironic). Something happened where we didn't get to practice, I think someone was sick. We left and were discussing the unorganization of the situation. As you can probably guess, I had some strong opinions about the whole thing. We were sitting on opposite ends of the couch as we talked about what had happened. Adam looked at me and said, "I can't do this." I thought he meant he can't talk about this situation any more, so I asked for clarification; there was something about the look in his face that made me uneasy. "I can't be married to you anymore." I remember breaking into tears and my defenses going up immediately (aside: my hands have begun to shake as I write this...weird). We argued for hours that evening. He slept in the other room. I think I eventually convinced him to sleep in our room, but I remember how awkward it was.

The next morning, I got ready for work (Who wants to teach high schoolers when your world feels like it is breaking down around you?). I remember that my eyes were so swollen from lack of sleep and the tears, that I couldn't put my contacts in. I wore my glases to school and every single one of my students noticed. From that little detail, my students sensed that something was wrong with me, but left me alone about it. Anyway, while I continued to get ready for work, I heard Adam get up to get ready. I can't remember if we had a discussion or if we spoke at all. All I remember is that while he was taking a shower, I went to open the bathroom door to say goodbye and the bathroom door was locked. He never locked the door. I knew we were done at that moment, but I also knew that I did not agree with all of this and I was going to fight.

He did come home from work that day, but we argued that evening as well. He couldn't give me a reason for wanting to separate. We both said very hurtful things, but the only thing I remember saying to him was, "I saved myself for you!" and him saying, "I never wanted to marry you, but I didn't want to let everyone else down." He eventually left our house to stay at a friend's house. He also turned his cell phone off so I couldn't get ahold of him. I went to bed and cried myself to sleep.

At this point, I still hadn't talked to anyone. I felt ashamed. We were both active in church ministry and the Bible states that divorce is not allowed except in cases of adultry. I didn't know how to deal with this. I didn't know who I could talk to. On the way to work the next day, I called the one friend that I felt would let me cry and talk without judging me, Sarah. We talked for a while, but she seemed distant. They only thing I actually remember her saying is that sometimes people have to break up but get back together, and things are much stronger the second time around.

The weekend came. I finally called my parents. It was difficult to make that call in the middle of the night. At this point in my life, I was living in S. Florida and my family was in Orlando, two and a half hours away. They let me cry and tried to understand. There really wasn't much they could do except listen and pray. The next morning, as Adam's parents made their way to our house to help him pack his belongings, I called a pastor friend of ours. I think out of all the phone calls that I had to make, that was the most difficult one. I felt like I was going to be put down and chastised. I was always going to be known as Jessie, the divorcee. That's not what I wanted to hear. I can't remember much of our conversation, except that he prayed with me and helped put my mind at ease about everything. I left our house because I did not want to see Adam's family. I went to a local park with my Bible and prayed and cried. God put peace into my heart. He led me to Isaiah 49:13 (The Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.). Once I felt better, I called my two best friends, Lauren and Melanie. They both cried for me and with me. They both prayed for me and with me. They helped me feel better. Melanie tried to help me figure out what was going on. She was the first one to ask if there was another woman involved. "No, of course not. Adam would never do that."

April came to a close, May passed, and June came. Adam and I had little face-to-face interaction, but spoke on the phone from time to time. Some conversations were really good and hopeful, others were very bad and ended in hurtful comments and feelings. We tried marriage counseling, but as soon as I was open to it, Adam decided he didn't want to go anymore. We tried hanging out with friends, it made everyone awkward. Eventually I left our church because he still wanted to attend there. I felt like for something that was considered to be so against the Bible, no one was speaking sense to Adam and telling him that what he was doing was wrong. God told me to step back and let Him work, so I did.

In June, I found out that there was another woman. Above I mentioned a girl named Sarah, the first person I called to talk about all of this. I felt I could talk to her without being judged. Well, as it turns out, even though Adam and I were not divorced, they were dating. To this day, I don't know how far this relationship had gone before Adam left me. I don't know the entire extent of their relationship during that time. I do know that in my eyes, Adam was cheating on me. It may not have been physically, but it was mentally and emotionally. He had put another woman ahead of his wife, therefore he was cheating. A pastor helped me understand that even though the Bible says adultry, it doesn't always mean physical adultry. Adultry can also mean to your wedding vows, to the commitment you made to each other and to God. For the first time, I felt better about the whole thing.

Summer came and I was beginning to heal even though we were technically still married. During this time I was spending a lot of time with a good friend, Erin. She and her husband, along with Clark and Vi, helped me through this entire process. Erin's husband was the only person who tried to speak the Word to Adam more than once. There were a few other people too, but they didn't do anything until they found out about the relationship with Sarah.

During July, August, and September, life began to move on. A new school year had started. I moved to my own apartment. I was visiting Orlando frequently (I finally decided to move back once the school year had ended). I had friends in Stuart. I was attending a different church even though I didn't want to. I would hear about Adam and Sarah, but I learned to accept it. Adam and I had a little contact, but nothing substantial. Finally, in October the divorce papers came. I refused to sign them until we had sat down with Chan--together. Adam agreed. We both met a Chan's house one morning in October. I brought Melanie with me so she could look over the papers. From what I could gather, Chan had breakfast with Adam before I got there and tried to make Adam tell him what's going on. Adam didn't care. He wanted out. We talked, I cried, Chan spoke. Nothing was going through, so I signed the papers. The judged signed them on November 13, 2002.

Since then, I have grown a lot. I moved back to Orlando and have become a different person. Don't get me wrong, I am still the same fun-loving, goofy Jessie, but I look at things differently. I try to find the positive before the negative. I have become more accepting of people. I am stronger and more faithful. I also look at relationships differently, love relationships, friends, family, etc.. I could sit here and try to analyze what went wrong, but what good would that do? I have made mistakes, people have hurt me, I've hurt people. I've asked for forgiveness and have granted forgiveness. I've heard from people about Adam--he married Sarah in the summer of 2004. Who cares? I've moved on in my life. I am happy, I am successful, I am surrounded by friends and family, my relationship with God has grown stronger, I love my church, I am in the best love-relationship I've been in, and I don't think I could have ever experienced any of that without going through my marriage and divorce. It's crazy how God always has what's best for us at the forefront, no matter how painful it may be when we are walking through that valley.

Are You Serious?

2005-11-11T17:55:00.000-05:00

For those of you who read this on a regular basis, you may have noticed that I recently deleted an emotionally charged entry that I wrote about some feelings that I had been dealing with. Well, apparently the fact that I deleted it has angered some people. I am being accused of censorship because I am too weak to stand behind my feelings. Now that is the silliest thing I have ever heard of in my life!

Let's get a few things straight:
1) Anyone who has known me for a short amount of time knows that I am not weak, and that I don't really care what I say and who I say it to. This has gotten me in trouble quite a few times, and I have learned some hard lessons from this quality of mine. I can honestly say that I think I've learned how to get this under control over the past few years, but sometimes I really have to work hard at it, or apologize for what I've said.
2) I have been under the impression that what is contained/written on a blog, my space, online journal, etc... is up to the person who maintains it. So technically I can delete whatever I want, when I want to, be it comments made by outside people, or things that I have written. I didn't know I needed permission for that.
3) When I wrote that original entry, I never wanted to slander (or is it libel because it is written?) the reputation of my church. I was upset about a few things that a few people that attend my church said about me. I cannot equate a church as a community to the actions of a few people. That would be narrow-minded and cold-hearted of me. I cannot deny the fact that there are some amazing things happening at CrossPointe, and that God is working there. It was wrong of me to word some of the things I wrote in such a manner as to lead people to believe that everyone at the church acted the same way.
4) The ultimate reason I decided to delete the entire entry was because I was feeling bad about what I wrote and how I wrote it. That was not the Godly way to express my feelings. I didn't delete my feelings, I deleted the way I express my feelings. I was worried that some of the things I said could be misinterpretted and taken out of context. Frankly, I didn't want my blog to be used as a bashing session about my church. I was not offended by any of the comments made. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone's feelings by deleting the entry. I was avoiding the direction it looked like the comments were going in.

It took a while, but I took the route I feel God would want me to take--I have spoken with those people at church who made comments about me and things are ok. Am I going through a rough season in my life right now? Yes. Is it difficult when I hear someone make a comment? Yes. Do I get upset when people jump to conclusions, or have incorrect perceptions? Of course! But it is not right to be angry about something or at someone without going to them about it.

I am not angry at those people who have made the most recent set of comments, I am just hurt. Apparently God has been trying to teach me a lesson lately. Something to do with dealing with hurt, or patience, or just accepting the fact that even your closest friends will let you down from time to time.

F-L-O-R-I-D-A S-T-A-T-E! Florida State! Florida State! Florida State, Wooo!!

2005-11-08T20:29:00.000-05:00

This weekend Phil took me to Tallahassee for my first FSU homegame. For those of you who may not know, Phil went to FSU to earn his Master's Degree. I have been to an FSU game twice before, but one was when I was marching with the UCF Knights and the other I saw at UF. So I've been to a game before, but never as a spectator.

Phil met me at my house very early, 7 a.m.-ish (I say "ish" because he was almost an hour late!). Then we drove four hours to the state capital. The closer we got to the campus, the more excited Phil became--it was kinda' cute. When we got into town, we met up with Janice (a friend of Phil's), Mike (Janice's brother), and Jon (another friend of Phil's). We had lunch at a sub shop and then walked to the FSU sports complex. One thing about Tallahassee is that everything is close enough to walk so we barely drove anywhere. We walked over to the complex to watch the Marching Chiefs warm up. I don't care what anyone says, UCF is better! Go Knights!

Anyway, once the warm up was over, we went over to the stadium for the game. Phil was so excited. We watched the football team warm up and then the Chiefs came out for pre-game. I took pics of the band, but there are on my phone and don't look very good. At first I was pretty bored with the game, and resorted to people-watching. After a little while Phil started explaining the game to me. As the game progressed, I was able to follow quite closely. By 4th quarter, I was cheering and yelling. Even though the Seminoles lost, the game was still a lot of fun.

Once the game ended, we ventured over to where the Chiefs sit. Of course Phil knew tons of people, so we had to stand around and talk. He was able to catch up with some of his former students. Then we walked back to Janice's house. We dropped our stuff off and headed to a local sports bar to meet up with everyone. We ate, drank, laughed, and watched more football. It was fun! As the evening wound down, we went to Jon's house to get some shut-eye. We woke up (too) early the next morning and had breakfast with Jon. After breakfast, we watched more football. Needless to say, I am footballed out!

In mid-afternoon, before heading home, we drove over to the FSU campus. Phil showed me where everything is. It is actually a very pretty school. I knew it had once been an all-girls school, but I had no idea that it is over 100 years old! After being all tourist-like and taking a few photos,we finally make the drive home.

All in all, it was a very enjoyable weekend. It felt good being away from Orlando and meeting new people. Thanks everyone for such a great time.

Oh, and I did not take the pictures in this entry, Janice did. Thanks Janice! If you want to see photos that I took, click on "My Photo Albums" on the right sidebar of this page. :-)

PRIDE of the Patriots

2005-11-02T11:39:00.000-05:00

THE MARCHING BAND SEASON IS OVER!!! WOOHOO!!!

More to follow...

St. Cloud High School Class of 1995

2005-10-11T20:55:00.000-04:00

Last weekend I went to my high school reunion. I didn't really want to go because I hated St. Cloud High. When I was growing up, I attended three different high schools. By the time I went to St.Cloud, I was tired of moving and changing lives. I did well there and I wasn't miserable, but I just didn't feel connected to people the way I did in Connecticut. I decided to go to the reunion purely out of curiosity.

We got there a little late (on purpose) and I got nervous. I knew ahead of time that all the people I hung out with weren't going to be there. I was worried that Phil and I would be sitting alone the entire evening just people watching, and no one would remember me. We walked up to the registration table and received a packet. Inside the packet was our class picture. I looked the same then as I do now!

We ended up sitting with someone I sang with in chorus and was in FCA with. He remembered me and we chatted for a bit. Phil actually got the conversation started because he kept checking his cell phone for football scores. This guy from high school overheard Phil talking at me (yes, talking at me because I tend to tune out all the football talk) about the games, and started to talk to Phil about them.

Then they showed the famous slide show. I wasn't in any of the pictures and neither were any of the band and chorus people. Figures!

I caught up to one of the girls I hung out with a lot. As it turns out, so works for the government as a special agent. She carries a gun everyday! Craziness! Later in the evening, I caught up with a girl I played flute next to in band. She was my biggest competition (even though she probably had no idea). She was one of those natural talents. She was so good that even when she was high, she still played better than me! It always pissed me off. As it turns out, she is now a high school English teacher. We ended up talking for a long time. It was interesting, to say the least. I then caught up with another girl I sang with in chorus. She's doing real well.

The night was so exciting that Phil and I decided to end the evening early. After doing the Electric Slide, finishing my Corona, and saying goodbye to two people, we left. I was asleep on my couch before 11 o'clock that night!

My two favorite quotes of the evening:
1) "Wow! I paid all that money and drove a long way just to see people I never spoke to in high school."
2) "Yeah, we weren't part of the popular crowd. We didn't think it was cool to get drunk in a pasture with the cows."

Go Bulldogs!
http://schs.osceola.k12.fl.us/

6,470,818,671

2005-10-06T19:44:00.000-04:00

"At the moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world.

Some are running scared...
Some are coming home...
Some tell lies to make it through the day...
Others are just now facing the truth...
Some are evil men at war with good...
And some are good struggling with evil...

Six billion people in the world...
Six billion souls...
And sometimes...all you need is one."
--Peyton on One Tree Hill

I love you, Phil

Memories...

2005-10-04T22:53:00.000-04:00

If you read this, even if we do not speak often, comment with one memory of me.
It can be anything you want, good or bad.
Just as long as it happened.
Then post this on your blog/livejournal to see what other people remember about you.
Thanks!

Things I Wish I'd Known Before I'd Gone Out Into The World

2005-09-28T13:05:00.000-04:00

A friend emailed this to me today:

Things I wish I'd known before I'd gone into the world:

A person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the tape.
When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.
The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
If he or she says that you are too good for him -- believe it.
I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"
Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
Living well really is the best revenge.
Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just proves that the other person was right about you.
Be really nice to your friends because you never know when you are going to need them to empty your bed pan and hold your hand.
And finally... Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect; it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.

Hmmm...

I LOVE Johnny Depp!!!

2005-09-28T10:51:00.000-04:00

This will crack you up (sorry for the scary picture)!!!!

Edward Scissorhands:Charming, innocent, and beautiful. Unfortunately,
he has blades for fingers. But hey, you can
get around that, you're all set.

Which Johnny Depp character is your ideal mate?

Blog Game

2005-09-25T16:43:00.000-04:00

I stole this off of a fellow blogger's site. It looks like a lot of fun.

20 years ago I… (1985)
1. Lived in Waterbury, CT.
2. Attended St. Lucie’s Catholic School and was elected vice-president of my classroom.
3. Received my first detention for talking while the teacher was talking.

10 years ago I… (1995)
1. Graduated from St. Cloud High School.
2. Won a substantial amount of scholarships for flute, vocals, and honors.
3. Met some of my life-long friends at Valencia Community College.

5 years ago I… (2000)
1. Moved to Port St. Lucie, Florida
2. Got a tattoo on my shoulder blade.
3. Successfully got through my first year of marriage.

3 years ago I… (2002)
1. Got divorced
2. Got my belly-button pierced.
3. Got drunk for the first time (yuck!!!)
4. Successfully got through my first year of teaching.

1 year ago I… (2004)
1. Got back into the marching band circuit.
2. Decided to go back to school.
3. Allowed myself to fall in love again.

So far this year I… (2005)
1. Began my Master’s Degree.
2. Began my 5th year of teaching.
3. Have felt the happiest and most complete I’ve ever felt.

Yesterday I…
1. Had lunch with one of Phil’s closest friends.
2. Slept way too much.
3. Studied the most I’ve ever studied in my life!

Today I…
1. Just finished the hardest mid-term I’ve ever taken in my scholastic career, and think I aced it!
2. Sang on the church worship team.
3. Will have dinner with Phil while watching the season premier of Desperate Housewives.

Tomorrow I will…
1. Give my students a pop-quiz on The Count of Monte Cristo.
2. Have a parent-teacher conference and detention all at the same time.
3. Hurry up and finish my homework for tomorrow’s grad school class.

In the next year I will…
1. Hopefully get engaged (sorry Phil).
2. See Wicked in Tampa and Chicago.
3. Go to London.
4. Be a member of my little sister’s wedding party.
5. Decide if I want to stay in teaching or not.

HI JANICE!!!!

2005-09-25T13:15:00.000-04:00

I just found out that some of Phil's college friends read my blog. That is so funny to me. I have been pretty careful about not writing all the time about the stuff Phil and I talk (or argue) about. Now that I know that his friends read this, that gives me free reign to write all the embarassing stuff. (insert sinister laugh here...) ;-)

Who else reads this thing?

sigh

2005-09-20T10:55:00.000-04:00

At our church, small groups tend to take a break during the summer since so many people are in and out of town. My small group chose to take a break. Well, it seems as if my small group has decided to no longer meet. I understand the reasons, but I am sad about it. This is the only group of girls that I meet with on a regular basis. I have been growing closer to these women and growing from the accountablilty. I did not become dependent on them, but I valued our time together.

As Phil and I drove away from church on Sunday, I was sad because my small group no longer meets and I have no other evening in the week when I can meet with another small group. There may be a couples group starting, but (no offense to Phil) I kind of want some "girl time." If I want a strong relationship with Phil, I don't think it's healthy to do every activity with him. I think it is very healthy to have some of our own separate things aside from work.

This got me thinking: Am I too busy? YES! I am a very busy person, but it's not stupid stuff that I waste my time on. On Monday nights I go to school, on Tuesdays and Thursdays I have band rehearsal and then do homework, every three Wednesdays or so I have worship team rehearsal, and on Friday I either do homework or go to the football game to support FHS. Saturdays are mine but I've been so busy, I've been finishing my homework. Sundays are church, homework, grading papers, lesson planning, and then domestic type stuff that I usually do with Phil. AAAHHHH!!!

Is my career getting in the way of my life? Am I allowing my life to get in the way of my relationship with God? Is the gap in my relationship with God going to get in the way of my relationship with Phil? Is getting a Master's Degree really worth it in a state that does not value education AT ALL!?!?!?!?!

HELP!!!!!!!!

Reality Check a la Katrina

2005-09-07T18:21:00.000-04:00

Hurricane Katrina has really shaken me up. I've never experienced survivor's guilt until now. My heart literally aches when I see pictures and hear stories of the devestation. I get angry when I listen to political commentary about the rescue response. I get infuriated when people talk about this being a racial issue. I get sad when I see pictures of the Superdome.

Last week, one of the teachers at my school let us know about a family that happened to be in Central Florida for a funeral when Katrina swept through their Mississippi town. I have one of the cousins in one of my classes, and taught the other cousin two years ago. I felt bad. I prayed for the family. I shed tears for the family and the town. When I got to school yesterday, I found out that the family has decided to stay in Central Florida and one of the children are now in my class. Their house and belongings are ok, but they have no school district and lost friends. I was sorta' worried about my reaction to seeing this child walk into my classroom. I didn't want to make the child feel different, but I didn't want to overwhelmed the child either. Then the child knocked on my door.

New Student: "Hi, I am a new student here, and I think I am in your class this period."
My response: **Smile** "Why, yes you are. Have a seat, and I'll get you caught up before the end of the period. Welcome.

As I walked around the classroom today , I noticed the new student. With all the thoughts and images of Katrina running through my head, I looked at this child with new insight: God spared this family. It was coincidence that the family was here during the storm. An unfortune death of a close family member brought them to Florida. They were probably really sad about the death and dealing with family and funeral preparations. Now they are dealing with the loss of friends and neighbors. They still have material items but their souls have been damaged. You can't tell that this child has experienced so much in the past week, until you look in the child's eyes. You can see uncertainty and fear of the unknown. You can see nervousness. You can see anxiety. Is it because this is a new school, a new city, new people? Is it something else?

I question God's hand in this matter--why would He allow something of this magnitude to happen? I know He is in control of everything, but sometimes it is difficult to figure out the reasons.

40 Year Old Virgin

2005-09-04T10:01:00.000-04:00

If you have not seen "The 40 Year Old Virgin," you need to!! Phil made me take a break from writing a paper last night and took me to see this movie. We laughed the entire 2 hours! Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. It is so funny. There are enough "Awww" moments to keep the ladies happy and enough raunchy humor to keep the men quiet. Go see it and then let me know what you think.

Balancing Act

2005-08-30T21:37:00.000-04:00

As you can probably guess, with the start of the school year and the start of my first semester of grad school, I am pretty stressed out. It takes a lot to stress me out. I worry by nature, but I don't really "stress out." I adapt quite quickly to change, and I always do what it takes to get things done.

School (teaching) has been pretty good this year--much, much better than last year. The only thing I have been really dealing with is the size of my classes. I teach 3 of the 5 English II Honors classes at my school and the only English II Pre-AP class. According to my principal, our classes should have no more than 33 students enrolled. Well, my honors classes have 48, 50, and 50 students in them!! I have a small classroom--it was difficult last year with only 37 students in a class. I literally have nowhere for these kids to sit--they sit in chairs all along the wall, or against a counter that have computers on it. I won't even try to describe how difficult it has been to stay on top of grading papers...

To make matters worse, students have begun getting annoyed with the class size and have asked to be transfered to my Pre-AP class. In case you are not familiar, Pre-AP is the next step higher than an honors class. It is designed to prepare you for Advanced Placement classes. It is an intensive and fast-paced curriculum focusing on higher-level thinking, analysis of literature, all while preparing for FCAT and covering the normal English II curriculum. It is a very interactive type of class and an in-depth grading system is required. Needless to say, the ideal size for this type of class is no more than 28-30. Guidance has been allowing students to transfer in without my authorization and has been allowing C+ students to enroll in a class that requires a prereq. of an A in English I. I have voiced my opinions loud and clearly in this situation, and now can only be patient until a new teacher is hired.

School (UCF) is okay. All three of my classes deal with research. I have a twenty-page research plan due at the end of the semester for the only class I attend on campus. One of my online classes is actually fun--it deals with reading trends in American education and allows me to really take a look at my reading curriculum. My other online course is kicking my butt!! The professor is really intimidating, and I've never even met her in person!! I have a paper due this Sunday by 5pm. You can probably guess what I'll be doing as soon as school lets out on Friday.

Church has been pretty exciting--we are growing in numbers and it looks like we'll be buying land and building very soon. The worship team is still fun, except the rehearsal schedule keeps changing which causes me to stress out even more because rehearsal cuts into homework or grading time.

My family is doing well. Tina is getting married in April; Cheryl and Brian are still in the Trinity area; Ronnie is well, as is Jon. My parents are the same, working hard and living life the way God calls them to.

Things with Phil and I are going very well. It seems like every day someone is asking one of us when we are getting married. We usually just shrug it off or laugh. We've talked about it, and I am pretty sure the intent is there, but we are in no hurry. We are both very happy with where our relationship is, and won't take the next step until we know that is what God wants us to do. I must say, that Phil has been absolutely amazing with my transistion. I've been calling him with very tense and tearful venting sessions. He sits there and just allows me to get it all out. He visits me while I do homework, and helps me out wherever he can. I have been trying to do the same but he understands how busy I am. I can tell it has been at bit taxing on him but I am so grateful that he continues to support and love me. What an amazing man God has blessed me with!!

Well I guess that's it for now. I gotta' go get some sleep. TTYL!!

Interesting

2005-08-23T19:29:00.000-04:00

Check out this personality test. It's pretty interesting.

I'm" a O47-C94-E91-A38-N32 Big Five!!

Motherhood

2005-08-21T15:44:00.000-04:00

The other day, we had somewhat of a fiasco with the marching band kids at my school (I am on staff with my school's marching band and really enjoy it). In between the end of school and the report time for our first home game, the staff went out to have a quick dinner at the Ale House. We cherish this time because it is an hour or two away from the students where we can just talk and relax before having to put on our staff shirt and be adults. During this time, the kids know to relax, get something to eat, and have a little fun before having to put their uniform on and focus for that evening's performance.

Apparently while we were gone, some of the kids decided to stand out in a lightening storm, jump around all over the front of the school, and drag race in the school parking lot. Technically we are not responsible for the kids during this time because they are on a break away from school. The catch is that most of them wear the t-shirts that have the title of the field show and "Freedom High School" plastered on the front, thus making themselves a billboard for our band, whether they are acting like monkeys or like resposible teenagers (oxymoron?). Well, when we all got back to school we were bombarded with student leadership, teachers, and administrators giving all the details of the afternoon's activities.

Of course the Director of Bands called everyone into the band room and gave them a firm talking-to about how stupid they were acting and how disappointed the staff is with them. As the kids were coming into the room to get seated for the "talk", one of my former students, who is also a percussionist, called me over. His face was bright red, his knee was moving uncontrolably, and he couldn't look me in the face. He was explaining to me that he was one of the alleged drag-racers but the story was getting blown out of proportion. He proceeded to give me the details of what actually happened and how scared he was, all while trying to fight back tears. I tried to be as firm as possible, explaining that perception is everything in this world, that even when we haven't done something to the extent of what people perceive, unfortunately that perception is what is going to be at the forefront of people's minds. He seemed to understand what I was telling him. He sat and listened to the director talk to the entire band, and accepted the band-wide punishment.

As the kids were dismissed from the band room to get set up on the football field for a run-through of the show before getting dressed, the alleged drag-racer's mother was in the band room. She came to talk to me and another staff member. I could tell she was fighting back tears so we just stood with her and listened as she vented. She told us how angry she was with her child because "he knows better than this" (the mom is very active at our school and the adminstrator who caught her son knows her very well). She then explained that if her son actually did drag race, she could deal with that but she could not deal with the thought of her son lying to her face. Apparently as soon as she found out what had happened, she came to the band room to find her son and get to the bottom of the issue. After finding him (we told her that he was hiding in the bathroom, trying to figure out how to handle the discussion with his mom that he knew was coming), she confronted her son. She went on to tell us that she and her son have a saying from the bible "Let your yesses mean yes and your nos mean no." Well when she asked her son if he was drag racing in the parking lot, he looked her in the eye and said "My yes means yes." She started crying as she was telling us this story. It was quite difficult to listen to the mom pour out her heart without being touched.

Later in the evening as I was driving home (from our first home victory and a decent first performance of the season), I began reflecting on this situation. I tried to imagine what I would do in this situation. I hope that I will be able to hold my anger back enough to listen to my child and try to get a grasp on the situation. I hope that I could have enough love and compassion for my child that I would handle the situation in a manner that would not demean, but still discipline. I hope that when I have kids, I have a kid that will know the Word and will be able to tell me that his yes is a yes or his no is a no. This alleged drag-racer was a student of mine last year so I've become quite fond of him and his mother. I wonder if I'll ever be able to tell them that they have given me a glimpse of the future relationship I hope to have with my children.

Big Brother 6

2005-08-12T14:30:00.000-04:00

Does anyone else watch this show? I am absolutely addicted to it! Last night, I sat in a movie theater and watched 7 hours of DCI (quarterfinals). I got home around 11ish but could not go to bed until I watched Thursday's episode of Big Brother. Throughout the entire 8 o'clock hour, I kept whispering to Phil about predictions of the show. If you've never watched it, I highly recommend it. It is on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays (at 8 or 9pm, I can't remeber which time on which night) on CBS. It is so much better than all the other Reality-Competition shows!!

Post The First Day of School

2005-08-08T21:53:00.000-04:00

OMG!! I am so not ready to be back in school. I am exhausted!! I got home around 7ish and slept for almost 2 1/2 hours!! Either I did not sleep well last night or I am getting old. This is insane!!!!!!

Seriously though, other than being exhausted, my feet hurting from wearing high heels again, the AC being out for the beginning of the day, and class sizes ranging from 35-48 students, the day went well. It's too early to tell how the kids are, but I'll keep you posted. One thing I can say is that I love my principal. Someone once told me that the difference between a good school and a bad school is the principal. I am a firm believer now.

Well, I need to get organized for tomorrow and then head to bed. I'll update soon, hopefully.

Pre-The First Day of School

2005-08-07T23:08:00.000-04:00

I am getting ready for bed and I have butterflies in my tummy. I am entering my fifth year of teaching and this has happened to me every year. I am not really nervous, just anxious. Please pray that tomorrow goes well, along with the rest of the year. I'll let you know how it went. G'night (hopefully). ;-)

"Do you like teaching?"

2005-08-06T08:49:00.000-04:00

I really don't have anything profound to say right now other than it's my final Saturday before the students come back to school. My plan for today is to try on some new clothes I bought (on credit--bad, bad girl!!), buy a few last minute things for my classroom, and then stop by my school to drop those things off and take a last glance around my classroom to make sure everything is in order for Monday.

Someone asked me the other day, "Do you like teaching?" My immediate response is "Yeah, I do." I actually do enjoy my job. Unfortunately I don't live in a state that supports their teachers or values education. In fact, I think the state legislature is trying to make the public school system crumble. I don't have a lot of factual evidence to support that statement, just personal experience, but when I get some evidence, I'll share it with you.

Teaching is a very unique career--you are in charge of making sure a group of students master the curriculum you present them within 10 months. High school is a weird age group because you would expect that these teenagers are ready to take on responsibilty and you can challenge their minds to expand, but in many cases lately, they are not. I've been out of the public school system as a student for ten years now. It has changed dramatically, in my opinion. There is very little respect from parents and students, you are responsible for every little thing that child does in and out of your presence, and even though many of these kids have grown up quicker than they should have, they cannot handle the responsibilty you place on them (seriously, how difficult is it to take home a novel and read 20 pages?!). The state is constantly changing their standards and expectations and forget to tell you about the changes, you cannot say anything, think anything, have an out-loud opinion about anything, or else you will be brought up on charges. You work your butt off to make sure your classroom is a safe, inviting place to be, that your teaching style is challenging yet attention-grabbing, that you state your expectations up front only to have a parent or child complain and then a superintendent or school board member side with the parent or student, and that you cover every single benchmark/standard that state expects you to cover. On the other side, you've got people in the profession sleeping with their students, molesting children on a bus or in their classroom, stealing money from the buget, and solisiting prositutes on OBT!

Do I like teaching? Yes I do, because I know that in most cases I am a respected professional. I make a difference, both educationally and personally. I work hard at what I do and I am damn good a what I do!! School starts on Monday--BRING IT ON!!

Band Camp

2005-07-29T13:57:00.000-04:00

I just returned home from the premiere of this season's field show. The kids did an awesome job! They accomplished learning the entire opener. For those of you who are new to the marching band realm, a field show usually consists of three songs, music and drill (the pictures that are formed on the field). During band camp, you have two weeks to teach all the rookie members how to march, read drill, and the process of putting what's on paper out on a football field. You also have to refresh the veteran members' minds of the same stuff. I was amazed all week at how hard these kids worked--they are a whole new band. I am so excited about this season and can't wait to see which of the kids end up in my class this year. I'll put some pictures up as soon as I get some good ones.

P.S. Teachers go back to school in three days. AHHHH!!!

The Great Harry Potter Disappointment

2005-07-26T19:46:00.000-04:00

For the past month or so I've been plodding through the fifth Harry Potter book. I bought it two years ago when it first came out, but I've been putting off reading it because of its daunting 870 pages--it's not a problem to read, in fact it is an easy read, but in my mind I can read some many other books in the same amount of time. Anyway, I've been trying to get through this book so that I can read the sixth book which came out last week.

I went out of town this weekend, giving me an opportunity to finish the book. Sunday night, as we pulled into Orlando, I finally finished book #5.

Even though I have been very excited to read the 6th book, I decided to put it off until after the school year began so that I can get some reading for school completed. Great plan right? WRONG! I've had to dodge people talking about the surprise ending so that it's not ruined for me. Well, I returned to band camp yesterday. I noticed that the drumline all had home-made shirts on so I began reading the writing. Someone warned me that if I haven't gotten to the end of the book, don't read the drumline's t-shirts. Ok, easy enough...just steer clear of the drumline. Rehearsal ends, the band director starts talking to the band right before dismisal. The next thing I know, he is reading the drumline's t-shirts outloud over the microphone, completely ruining the end of the book for everyone who has not gotten there yet!!

Even though I am a bit peeved, I must say that was quite a stunt. Go Drumline!

Dumb Athletes

2005-07-21T07:43:00.000-04:00

So I was sitting here watching Good Morning America and there was an interview with Sheryl Crow about Lance Armstrong as he approaches the end of his seventh Tour de France. They showed a clip of Mr. Armstrong talking about something, I wasn't really paying attention. Then I heard him say, "It makes it funner." I thought he was joking so I picked up my head to watch and perked my ears up to listen more closely. He repeated it again, "Yeah, it makes it funner." WOW!

OUCH

2005-07-20T16:41:00.000-04:00

On Sunday morning, I was leaving my house, going to church. It was roughly 7:00 am. Phil was walking behind me, and we were coming down the stairs outside of my apartment. All of a sudden, I slipped down the last three stairs and landed flat on my back and hit my head! It sounds funny but these were concrete stairs! The first thing that came to mind, was, "OMG, did I break a rib?" Phil rushed down to help me up because I couldn't stand up. It took me a little while to catch my bearings (and my breath), and eventually I was able to stand up straight again. I was running late and really needed to get to church (I was CAD). Phil walked me to my car, helped me in (because I couldn't really move well), and then went back to my apartment to get some Aleeve (he knew I would need it soon because of the impact of my skull on the stairs). Somehow I made it to church, but it was very painful. I was not in the best of spirits but I got through both services.

Finally church was over and I was able to go home to rest. I got changed and sat down to relax and eat lunch. Fatigue (and pain) started setting in and I needed a nap. Instead of taking a nap, Melanie and Phil convinced me to let Phil take me to the doctor to get my back checked out. I was very hesitant because I am quickly running out of dinero and there is still one month until my next paycheck. I gave in and let Phil drive me to the doctor. We sat there for an hour and paid $35.00 just so that the doctor could tell me that I am fine. She also said that I will swell and bruise, and Monday would be miserable for me. Well, Monday was ok, Tuesday was miserable, and today I am almost back to myself.

Lesson: Uhhhh...shave every morning because you never know when you're going to need to go to the doctor?

Thank You

2005-07-20T16:35:00.000-04:00

I want to thank everyone who made my birthday week such an enjoyable time. Thank you Tracey for the Chillers experience. Thanks Phil for taking me to the AMAZING Marc Broussard concert. A HUGE thanks to Melanie for hosting such an awesome birthday party. Thank you to everyone who joined me at one of the festivites and thanks for the gifts.

Another year closer to 30... *SIGH*

SixSteps Records Update

2005-07-20T16:28:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone! I realize that it's been a while since I've touched bases regarding SixSteps Records, and I have so much to share with you:

Cds:
Matt Redman's new cd, Blessed Be Your Name: The Songs of Matt Redman Vol 1, will release on July 19th. I am listening to it right now and it is very good. It is live recording from the Facedown Songwriter's Conference. It contains many of the songs that have become very popular over the past decade, including The Heart of Worship, Let Everything That Has Breath, and Blessed Be Your Name. It is also an enhanced cd containing a live performance of The Heart of Worship, an interview with Matt, and links to Matt's and the SixSteps web sites.
The David Crowder * Band will release their next cd, A Collision, on September 27th. As soon as I have more info, I'll send it your way.
Passion: How Great Is Our God (Cd and DVD) was released in April, if you haven't already picked it up. If you want to hear samples from the cd, follow this link: http://ecards.emicmg.com/passion05
Chris Tomlin's Arriving won the Dove Award for Worship Album of the Year and currently has two #1 singles.

Books:
Louie Giglio's latest book, I am not but i know I AM, is currently in stores. It is "the profound message of man's little story in the midst of God's grand story. A challenge to embrace your tiny role in the eternal story of God." I haven't read it yet, but I am looking at it right now and it seems pretty interesting and an easy read. I'll let you know how it is when I am done.
Matt and Beth Redman have teamed up to write their book Blessed Be Your Name: Worshipping God on the Road Marked with Suffering. It is about responding to Jesus with worship when we are surrounded by storms that cause suffering. Again, I haven't read it but it sounds pretty inspiring.

Tours:
I am really excited about these!! Passion and Sixsteps present the Indescribable Tour with Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, and Louie Giglio and A Collision Tour with the David Crowder * Band with special guests Robbie Seay and Shane & Shane. Both of these tours will begin in the fall so keep watching for dates and upcoming promotion details. You can also be watching out for dates on both Chris and David's web sites.
For those of you living near or in Orlando, Chris Tomlin will be performing at Universal Studio's Rock the Universe.

I guess that's it for now. I'll do my best to let you know of anything new coming up. Feel free to email me any comments or questions you have. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Be Blessed!!

http://www.sixstepsrecords.com/
http://www.davidcrowderband.com/
http://www.christomlin.com/2004/default.htm
http://www.mattredman.com/
http://www.charliehall.com/flash.php
http://www.watermark-online.com/

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

2005-07-13T01:20:00.000-04:00

TODAY is my 28th Birthday. And for those of you who know me very well, you know that my birthday stretches out across a three week time period (the week before, the week of, and the week after my birthday). I LOVE BIRTHDAYS!! I sing happy birthday to every single one of my students--I tell them it's their day, they should celebrate it. That's how I feel--it is your very own day.

Here is the plan for the week:
July 13th: We're heading Downtown (Chillers, Wall Street, etc...) for anyone who can keep up. We're dressing up! Call the cell for details.
July 15th: Mark Broussard concert at the House of Blues
July 16th: We're having a luau. Details are at: http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?event=OCOAAXNHHMQDTFGHEPCL

This week will be nothing but fun because my school responsibilites begin on Monday, July 18th. This is my last hurrah (as Melanie so eloquently put it). Let's make it a good one!!!

My 28th Birthday Wishlist (not in any specific order)

Anything UCF for my car or classroom
A new NIV study Bible (my current one was a gift from Adam)
Finding Neverland and Napolean Dynamite on DVD
Any book by Gregory Maguire (except Wicked and Lost)
The newest Rascal Flatts cd, Feels Like Today
The newest Passion cd, How Great Is Our God
The newest Matt Redman cd, Facedown
The new Jason Mraz cd (releases July 26th)

You know you love my sense of humor!!! wink, wink!!!

Happy Independence Day

2005-07-06T12:23:00.000-04:00

Independence Day is such a happy day. It's one of those days where ywe think about the country in which we live and thank God for the freedoms we have.

I had a good Independence Day. I was able to sleep in for the first time all summer, had breakfast with Phil, and was lazy around the house for a few hours. Early in the evening, Phil and I headed to the heart of Orlando...Lake Eola. Phil was playing with the Orlando Concert Band on the stage right on the lake. They did a good job, considering the venue. Then we got front row seats for the fireworks display. The weather was awesome until the fireworks started--once that first set of fireworks went off, so did the rain. It wasn't too bad though. The advertisements for the day's events said that this would be the "biggest fireworks display over Central Florida." They lied! It was pretty boring until the finale. You would think living in a city inundated with tourist attractions and theme parks, there would be a better chance of an outstanding fireworks display-NOPE! We saw better fireworks at the Magic Kingdom during Spring Break.

After sitting in traffic for a surprisingly short amount of time, we headed over to Melanie's for a Phase 10 game. Phil and I worked as a team, and were dealt in a few hands behind everyone else. We quickly caught up and were even winning for a few hands. The victor of the evening was Katie. She was funny as she claimed victory at three o'clock in the morning. She reminded us that this is the first time she has won in a few years, even after teaching all of us "bitches" how to play the game. Katie, I challenge you to a rematch next week as the opening event to the birthday galla!! ;-)

Well, that's about it. I hope everyone had a fun and safe 4th of July. Be sure to stay tuned for an update on the birthday week events. I'll talk to you soon.

2005-07-06T12:07:00.000-04:00

Happy Independence Day! Lake Eola, 2005

2005-07-06T12:06:00.000-04:00

The Orlando Concert Band
Lake Eola, July 4th, 2005

SUMMER SCHOOL....

2005-07-01T10:25:00.000-04:00

IS OVER!!!! Happy happy!! Joy, joy!! I am soooo happy!!! Woohoo!! No more 9th graders to deal with--no more grading--no more planning!!!

Can you tell I'm just a little happy? :-)

(Only 4 more weeks until school starts so then all of this can begin again.)

Emotional Breakdown

2005-06-27T14:32:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, the weirdest thing happened to me. I was singing at church, and I led the final worship song of the service. Towards the end of the song I began to feel tears welling up in my eyes. I finished the song, barely made it through the announcements, got off the stage and just started crying on Karis' shoulder. For the next three or four hours, I would try to say something or begin thinking about something and just start crying. I know exactly what is wrong with me...

In case you didn't know, I am on staff with the marching band at Freedom. Last week we found out that the head director is moving to GA (I am very jealous). Now there is a search going on to find someone to take his place. Logistically the easiest thing to do is move the associate director up to the head director's position. If it were only that easy! I have been hearing opinions and theories left and right, both in favor and disapproval of our associate director. It has been rough on me because I can see all sides of all the possible scenarios. I have had to listen to various people and be careful of how I respond to their comments, again both positive and negative. I think it's the negativity that has been taking a toll on me...

Then, last week, for the first time in my teaching career, I basically had to negotiate with my Administration to get the schedule I want in the fall. I don't like being like that way but I felt like I was honestly being treated like crap. So I addressed the situation. I even sent a resume to another school (who knows what'll come of it). I think I got what I want, but I don't like playing the politics game...

Next, I have been on a planning team for a recruiting event for the Celebration Arts ministries at my church. I am working on the information brochure that will be handed out to interested people. During church yesterday, I found out that the evening of the event has been changed and no one informed me. It has been changed to the same evening as Phil's high school reunion. I went to talk to Jay about it, and let him know how hurt I was. I tried to explain that I am not angry that the evening has been changed, but I am hurt that plans changed and no one told me, and that I am disappointed that I cannot attend. I was hurt that once again, the communication chain failed...

Finally, the song I led yesterday was Agnus Dei. This is a very dear song to me because it was while singing this song that I first heard God speak His purpose into my life. The Worship team changed the key into a key that was difficult for me to sing. I knew I could do it, but wasn't as confident as I normally am. Anyway, I stressed all during first service up until the moment I was to lead the song, and did a fairly good job. During second service, I wasn't as nervous, but during the final chorus, my voice completely cracked. I was disappointed because I wanted to do a good job. Well, I looked out into the congregation and there were people standing up, raising their arms in surrender to God. They were not listening to me! They were listening and simging to God! It just struck me hard that God was using my voice to speak to these people and that my talent is not about me, but about what he can do with it. It hit me hard and that is when the flood gates opened.

Brokenness is not an easy thing to go through, but the outcome is very exciting. God is breaking me. I am not sure why. I'm not sure how. I don't know what He is going to do in me, but I am excited about the fruit that will come of it.

DCI

2005-06-27T11:29:00.000-04:00

On Saturday, Phil took me to see the DCI (Drum Corps International) competition at the Citrus Bowl. For being my second DCI show, this one was ok. I wasn't completely impressed by any of the corps, but I was informed that it is very early in the season, so they will only get better before August. I think my favorite shows of the evenings were performed by The Boston Crusaders and the Blue Coats. My favorite moment of the evening was when The Glassmen were doing some sort of visual move in their show. All the performers were laying on the ground, moving their arms, legs, and heads this way and that in some sort of choreographed move. All of a sudden one of the baritone players picked his head up and puked! He put his head back down, did a move, picked his head back up and puked again!. Then (and this is the worst part) the choreography required everyone to roll onto their side. Well this baritone player rolled right into his own puke...never missing one beat! It was absolutely horrid. I felt so bad for the guy. Talk about being dedicated. Ummm...not so much!!! Corp life would never work for me.

BTW: I've added a few things to my blog so be sure to look around and leave comments. I want to hear from everyone!!

2005-06-26T12:44:00.000-04:00

Not a great picture but I think this is The BlueCoats.
DCI, Orlando, FL
June 25th, 2005

WOW!!

2005-06-24T14:33:00.000-04:00

I just opened my bible and read this verse:

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace. -Acts 20:24

Wow!! What an amazing thought! My life is worth NOTHING unless I am being an example of God's love and grace in all that I do. Now...is everything I do for Him?

A Servant's Heart

2005-06-21T11:34:00.000-04:00

In my small group we are doing a study on the heart of a servant. Today's bible reading is Ephesians 4:11-13: It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

As I sit here and ponder these verses, the phrase unity in the faith jumps out at me. God gives all of us specific talents and abilities to help glorify his kingdom. One gift intertwines with another to make this body unite. That is too cool!!

I recently took a spiritual gifts test. My highest gift is administration, but my lowest gift is giving. I take that as I am really good at organizing events and schedules, but without the people who give time and money, there would be nothing to schedule because the church wouldn't be able to afford to hold events. What a concept!! We all work together to spread His word and the bring glory to His name.

God has been convicting me in this area. I am always the first to voice my opinion on the worship team, but I don't spend enough time praying for the function of the team, for the members of the team, for the leaders of the team, and ultimately His goal for the team. Without that prayer and support, there will be no team to be a part of. I need to take on my role as an administrator and set an example of prayer for the rest of my teammates. I need to offer my gifts to the leaders, to help make their job easier. WOW!! Thanks God!!

Today's Spelling Test

2005-06-20T14:43:00.000-04:00

Use each of the following words correctly in a complete sentence, citing the difference between each usage:

your and you're
to, too, and two
there, their, and they're
buy, by, and bye
a lot and a little

Can you believe that most of my students cannot differentiate between these words? What is going on with our education system?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

BTW...

2005-06-20T14:40:00.000-04:00

SUMMER SCHOOL SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know who wants it to end more, me or the students. I just have to keep telling myself that there are only two weeks left, and it is a financial girft from God.

(SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!)

Bowling is the Bomb!!

2005-06-20T14:29:00.000-04:00

So I learned a very important lesson this weekend: you MUST make time for your girlfriends. That is honestly the only way to keep a well-balanced life. I went bowling with a small group of ladies from church and we had an absolute blast!! My bowling game was horrid but the female bonding was great!!

I have never felt very close to women except for in a few instances. I've always had my best girlfriends, but my closest relationships have always been with guy friends (not as in a boyfriend whom you date). I have often had walls up around women. I'm not quite sure why. I've never been physically, emotionally, or mentally abused by a woman. A really close woman in my life has ever died. I have a good realtionship with my mother and sisters...I just don't know. I have had rocky relationships with women, and I am a women so I know how catty, petty and dramatic we tend to be. That's the only reason I have for shutting women out.

Anyway, in my small group we've talked about the desire to have close relationships with other women and have all been trying really hard to trust women and to be held accountable by women. I have been able to feel these bonds tighten with these women. Some of us have been challenging each other to strengthen our relationship with Christ. We've been hanging out together more, and we've been brainstorming ideas of ways to get other women involved in our group.

I have been blessed by this small group of girls. Thank you God for bringing such amazing women into my life!! Ladies, please continue to challenge me and force me to grow. I love the example that you have set before me. I hope these relationships continue to grow and carry on over the next few years. Who knows, maybe some of you will be in my wedding (if I ever get married again). Love ya!!!! MUAH!!!!

Update on Howie

2005-06-11T09:31:00.000-04:00

Here is the latest message from Jennifer, Howie's wife:

God has answered all our prayers. Howie has a brand new heart. He came through with flying colors. PRAISE GOD!!! The transplant coordinator said it was the shortest wait for a heart in the history of their transplant program. WOW God is so good. Howie is really hooked up to a lot of stuff and can't talk or have visitors, but if he could I know he would say THANKS everybody for praying. I'm counting this as a miracle. LOVE JENNIFER

I echo her thanks for your prayers. Keep praying that Howie's body heals perfectly and quickly. Also pray for Howie family, I am sure they are exhausted.

Please Pray for Howie

2005-06-10T20:40:00.000-04:00

If you are a praying person, a dear friend from church is having a heart transplant at midnight tonight. He is at a heart-hospital in Gainsville and the last word we got from his wife is that Howie's case has been diagnosed as urgent and he has been put to the top of the transplant list. Pray that a heart becomes available, that the surgery goes well, wisdom for the doctors, for Howie's strength, and for his family's strength.

For those of you who know Howie, I am sure you'll agree that he is one of the nicest men with the sweetest spirits I've ever seen. Please, please, please take a moment this evening and lift him up in prayer.

A Sigh of Relief

2005-06-08T16:02:00.000-04:00

Well, the school grades are in and Freedom High earned a C!!!! I am so happy. A weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I can relax for a few months before it all starts again.

Ah, the joy of being a teacher...

Quite the Eventful Weekend

2005-06-06T18:34:00.000-04:00

Man, this weekend was jam-packed! On Friday, I worked on getting all my Summer School lessons in order. I am not looking forward to teaching this summer, but I just keep reminding myself that God gave me this job to cover my finances during the summer. When Phil was done with his mini-camp, we went to Steve and Melanie's. As always, we had a lot of fun. We played Phase 10 until 12:30 in the morning. Phil had never played before so it was fun watching him get the hang of it. Katie and Matt announced that they had gotten engaged the evening before, so of course wedding/marriage was the topic of conversation more often than not. Poor Phil got the brunt of that stick. He just gracefully ignored the comments and said, "Huh?' whenever someone asked when we're getting married. It's humorous (at times). Congratulations Katie and Matt!!!

On Saturday, I spent the day with Melanie and her children. Her mom cut and highlighted my hair, and I am still not sure if I like it. Phil, Melanie, and my other friends like it, but I am still not used to it yet. While I was with Melanie, I watched as she took care of her family. She is an amazing mother! I watched in awe as she loaded and unloaded the car, changed diapers, cleaned up throw up, etc... I could never be a mother! Melanie, I am impressed!!!

On Sunday, Phil played keyboard with the Worship Team!! I am so happy. My mom and I have been praying for a while that Phil would grow strong in his relationship with Christ and then find a ministry in which to serve. It was fun watching him on stage (I didn't sing this week, but eventually he and I will be on the same team), struggling to hear himself and make faces whenever he would mess up. The best part was when he began singing as he was playing!! He never sings!! It was so cool. Later in the afernoon, Phil and I went to a funeral for the father of one of his students. It was sad but it looked like the wife was happy to see Phil and I had come to pay our respects. I have never met the man, but I have met his wife and daughter a few times. They are a really nice family, and it was sad to watch everyone say goodbye.

Today, Summer School and my job at Sylvan began. Also, Phil is out of town for a week, so this is going to be a crappy week. I am teaching FCAT Writing to two different groups of incoming 9th graders everyday. Wow!! What an odd age-group. I've never taught this age group before. They are so immature and little. The things they say are very funny though. I can't wait to see some of these kids when they get to my 10th grade class in two years. The best part about today was realizing that I was some of these kids first introduction to the high school experience...MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

God's Masterpiece

2005-06-04T08:55:00.000-04:00

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. -Psalm 139:13-16

We read this verse at small group the other day and then pondered on the idea of being God's masterpiece. What is a masterpiece? I think of something created so perfectly, that you just step back and stare at it in awe and wonder. It is something you are so proud of that you place it somewhere to be seen by someone or everyone. If this is my working definition of a masterpiece and God created me as a masterpiece, then I have a problem with this. I'm excited that He has made me wonderfully and fearfully and that he considers me as his masterpiece, but am I someone that people should sit back and stare at in awe and wonder? What a responsibilty! I know I am not perfect because I am a sinful person, we all are! If God knew me before I was even formed, then He knew how I would turn out, what choices I would make, what circumstances I would encounter. He created my path, "all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be," yet I choose the stops along the way. Hmmm...

I could go round and round with this but I think it all comes down to one thing: God created us, He knows our past, present, and future. When we entered the world, we entered into sin. It is that sinful nature that will create stops along the path God has already paved for us. God loves us, no matter what and has the desires of our heart waiting for us. It is because we are His children that we decide to stop and ask where He wants us to go and what he wants us to do. We were created fearfully and wonderfully in His eyes. once we accept that, we can accept the task of being God's Masterpiece.

IT'S OVER

2005-06-02T00:46:00.000-04:00

Well, at about 2:30 this afternoon, I turned in my keys, and the 2004-2005 school year officially ended. Don't get too excited--summer school starts next Monday.

All-in-all, it was a good year. I have grown so much as a teacher this year. I really feel that this has been my strongest year thus far. I am learning how to be much more demanding, and how to challenge my students to think on their own. Unfortunately, the community in which I teach, has a good bit of wealthy, needy (oxymoron?) children. They expect you to do everything for them, always look for the easy way out, don't put forth more effort than absolutely necessary, and don't understand the meaning of the word RESPECT. I am learning how to deal with that and have decided that next year I am really going to have to learn how to rule with an iron fist. It's not really in my personality, but if I am going to expect these kids to master the skills needed to graduate high school, I've got to demand more. It's rough, but I'm committed to getting there.

On another note, I got my FCAT scores today. 21% of my students failed!! I was not happy about this, so I started asking around. Even the best teachers in my department had poor scores. It's amazing to me that no matter how hard we try to work with these kids to prepare them for this test, and no matter how much we stress the importance of this test, the kids still don't take it seriously. I have never been one of those teachers that "teach to the test" and I refuse to do that, but I am going to have to seriously look at the way I am teaching because these kids are lazy and just don't want to do the work. Let me give you an example of how lazy these kids are: I have a student who scored a perfect score last year when she was a 9th grader. This year she scored 123 points LOWER because she "didn't feel like sitting there the whole time." BS!! And that, my friends, is the future of this country. But what do I know, other than how to read and write?!?! ;-)

ANyway, the school year is over. I got a few days off and then get back into the classroom next Monday. Ah, the joys of being an adult...

New Group, Same Spot

2005-06-02T00:32:00.000-04:00

Last Friday, Phil and I were invited to spend some time with a new group of people. They are all people we know from the district music departments, but we've never really had an opportunity to hang out with them in a social setting. After a few days of trying to figure out where the heck we were going to eat dinner, we all finally decided on The Cheesecake Factory. I was craving mashed potatoes and ended up eating quasadillas (but Phil let me eat some of his potatoes). Good food, expensive drinks, great company. After dinner, we stood outside the Millenia Mall for roughly an hour, just shooting the breeze and trying to decide where to relocate to. We ended up at my favorite place--Club Ale House!! We ended up sitting around and talking until 1 am. It was so much fun--these people were a trip!! Afterwards, Phil and I agreed that we have to do that again sometime. Thanks for the invite Tracey!!

On Saturday night, we all went out to Cowboys to celebrate the end of the school year and my acceptance into grad school. Before meeting Melanie and Katie, we went to dinner with a couple of Phil's friends from his hometown. We ate at Pat O'Brian's in Citywalk. We've been there before so it was no big deal--just a huge check. Then we finally headed to OBT for some line-dancin'!! I don't know what was up, but for some reason every guy we were with was experiencing PMS at some point in the evening. I must say though, my guy had THE WORST case of it!! I was actually very surprised at how Phil was acting. It was very evident (and uncomfortable at times) that he did not want to be there, but instead of saying something beforehand, he just sulked the entire night. Whatever--I had a good time anyway. Me, Katie, and Melanie danced the entire evening. We stayed out longer than we normally do and danced more than we normally dance--even Katie's boyfriend got out on the floor for a little bit. I had so much fun. The only bad thing was that Phil didn't ask me once to slow dance (insert awwww here: ______), and we ended the evening in an argument (but with a good resolution).

Phil's mom was in town on Sunday and Monday, so I took advantage of the alone-time and cleaned, cleaned, cleaned. I also started a new book. I've decided that this summer I am reading for me, not my students. I am reading books that I want to read, not just YA Lit.

It ended up being a great last weekend of the school year!!

I GOT IN!!!

2005-05-25T22:59:00.000-04:00

I just found out a few moments ago that I got accepted into UCF's Reading Education MS program!!!! I am so happy right now, I don't really know how to react. My heart is racing, and I can feel tears welling up. I am relieved that my GRE scores did not hinder my opportunity, but I am anxious to begin this new journey. I am apprehensive about getting back into a "serious student" mode, but I am excited about the final outcome. After the trials I've been going through these past few weeks, I was really beginning to question the path God has for me. Once again, he has proven His sovereignty by opening and closing doors in order to make His path clear. I am a bit nervous about the next few years, but I am so excited that He is in control and I am not!!

Thank you for all your prayers and support. Thank God for friends and family like you! We are going out to celebrate on Saturday night. I am feeling like a night of line dancing--call the cell if you want details.

P.S. ONLY TWO MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Good Ending to A Looooong Week

2005-05-23T15:49:00.000-04:00

I was so looking forward to the weekend. It wasn't the best but I was away from my classroom so that made it alright.

On Friday, I intended to go home and grade, grade, grade while Phil was at a school function. Phil convinced me to come spend some time with him at UHS. It wasn't an ideal situatuion, but he made it worthwhile. He cleaned off a desk in his office and made some space where I could grade away while he took care of his responsibilites. I didn't think it would work but I actually got quite a bit of papers graded. Afterwards, we went to UNO's to eat--they have the best nachos and Bloody Marys.

On Saturday, I had a picnic for one of the clubs I sponsor. Not a lot of students showed up, but we all had a good time. The weather was beautiful, and the park was gorgeous. We ate a lot of food, goofed around, got a little sun, and had an all-around good time. Phil came out for the last hour (I think he wanted the free lunch), so when I was done, we headed to the mall. We walked around, trying to avoid as many of my students as possible (the FL Mall is right next to my school). Phil had an OCB concert he had to be at, so we parted ways. Lucky me went home to continue grading.

I sang at church on Sunday and had a good time. Matt led our team this week, so it was an adjustment to leadership styles, but I like the change. Sarah and I were silly all morning. I always have fun when I sing with her. After church, Phil and I went to the Ale House for lunch (surprise, surprise) and finally got to see Star Wars. It was ok. I like how everything was finally resolved after 30 years, but the overall movie wasn't the best I've seen. I actually think Crash is still my favorite movie of the year. At least I can say I saw Episode III in the theater. After the movie, we went grocery shopping, went home so we could both work on school stuff, cooked dinner, and watched the finale of Desperate Housewives.

Now we've entered the final week of school and I cannot wait for this weekend. Don't forget to reserve Saturday night for Cowboys!!

Can we say OVERWHELMED?

2005-05-17T19:35:00.000-04:00

There are only 8 days of school (with students) left, two of which are half days. During that time I need to grade hundreds of reports, journals, and tests, listen to oral book reports, and finish teaching The Taming of the Shrew. Then I have two days of post-planning. Then four days after that, summer school starts. And then two weeks after that ends, band camps starts. Somewhere in there, I will be working at Sylvan, (hopefully) getting ready for Grad school, turning 28, and helping with the Creative Arts showcase. **SIGH**

I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. I've not been sleeping well, my patience has been short, I snap at Phil more often than usual, I am mush more evil than normal towards my students, I fall asleep whenever I get the opportunity to sit down on the couch, I am bored at church, and I don't ever want to do anything fun. I know I haven't been spending the time with God that I need to, but there are only so many hours in the day. How do you you find the time to accomplish everything? It's at moments like this when I know I need to lean on God, but then I am afraid to because I might just fall asleep and not get something done. It shouldn't be like this, but it feels like a catch-22 situation. Any suggestions?

Harassment?

2005-05-16T19:59:00.000-04:00

Ok, so some of my students figured out my blog address and found my AIM screen name. They've been passing my screen name around, and think it is a huge joke. Some of them have been daring enough to IM me, but I just block them so they'll leave me alone.

Last night, I was chatting online when a random IM came up. I blocked it, but then a new one popped up. This one was very obscene and rude, on the lines of harassment. Even though it sorta' freaked me out (between that, my camera being stolen, and the robberies in my complex), I wasn't going to do anything. Then today at school some students asked about it and it launched into a whole class discussion about who it was, blah, blah, blah. Of course every class discussion travels from period to period. I had students coming up to me all day long telling me that they heard kids bragging about what they did to me (I guess these smart guys and gals were bragging about it at lunch). I decided to keep a list of names that kept coming up. I didn't have to ask around--they ratted each other out.

After school, I went to one of the deans. He said I need to see the SROs and then they'll do something. Apparently this is a legal matter and the school can't get involved until the police do. The dean wants the list of names so they can start talking to all the kids. I thought this would be a suspension, but apparently this is on the lines of harrassment since it happened outside of school.

Well, for all my brainiac kids who think they are so funny: after tomorrow morning, the SROs will be involved. You think you're funny, and you know I can take a joke, but now you've gone too far. See ya in the morning!!

Updates...

2005-05-15T22:41:00.000-04:00

Grad School: UCF has received my GRE scores, so it should only be a week or two until I find out if I've been accepted into the program. Keep praying!!

Apartment Theft: When we got back into town last night, there was a notice on my door informing all tenants that there have been a number of breakins (apartments and cars), and that we need to be careful with EVERYTHING! There was also some sort of accident that caused the gate to my complex to be knocked down. To me, it looks like someone drove right through the darn thing. I now officially live in the g-h-e-t-t-o!!

Summer Job: It looks like I will be teaching summer school. I haven't started back up at Sylvan yet, but hopefully that'll happen soon so I can save up for the month of July (the month in which absolutely no income is coming in).

Church: SSDD

School: Only two full weeks left! But...some of my students figured out my blog address and my AIM screen name. One kid made the mistake of messaging me with inappropriate comments. That child will be sad when he gets called down to the Dean's Office for harassing a teacher.

Random Thought: Have you heard the new Gwen Stefanie song "Hollaback Girl"? I think that is quite possibly the worst song EVER, but I cannot get it out of my head. How do you spell bananas?

I think that's it for now...

Stuart, FL

2005-05-15T19:00:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, Phil and I decided that we needed some time away. The craziness of the end of the school year has been really wearing us out. We both skipped school on Friday, with permission of course, and headed down to Stuart, FL.

On Friday night, we went to the SFHS Band Banquet. Phil was a "special guest." It was nice to be able to see some of our former students. The kids were so excited to see Phil. It is very obvious that he has really made an impact on their lives. After the banquet, we drove around Stuart, Jensen Beach, and Port St. Lucie. Our original intent was to find something to do, but quickly realized that Small Town U.S.A. shuts down around 9 o'clock at night. So we ended up at The Ale House (cause we've never been there before, wink-wink). When we walked in, the first person I saw was another former student. He and I talked for a little bit. He caught me up on what everyone's been up and I told him about Orlando. He was laughing at me because he can tell from the way I talk that I work in the ghetto. It was funny.

On Saturday, we were able to sleep late. That felt so good--much needed rest!! We then drove back into Stuart and went downtown to have lunch. Clark and Vi met us at T.A. Verns and had lunch with us. Then we went for ice cream and walked around, visiting some of the shops. Phil and I went for a walk along the intercoastal before heading over to Clark and Vi's house. Probably the only thing I miss about living in Stuart (other than people) is the ocean. It was an absolutely gorgeous day with the sun shining and the wind blowing. The smell of the ocean and the feel of the sea spray...PERFECT!!

We stopped by Clark and Vi's house before heading up to Vero Beach (Vi wanted me to see the redecorating they've been working on). We went to dinner with a couple of Phil's friends. I usually don't do too well around his friends because they are all band directors, and I can only take so much band-talk, but I actually had fun. Then we headed back to O-Town.

The weekend was great--we got to see former students, and visit old friends and places. The only thing that was hard was being back in the place where my marriage ended. I know I talked a lot about Adam and things that happened while I was living there. I tried not to talk too much, but it was hard to avoid it. As we drove back, Phil and I discussed some things and I realized just how different this relationship is and how happy I am with him. God has grown me tremendously since I've left S. Florida. I needed to be here in Orlando for that growth to take place. It's amazing what you learn from ghost stories. ;-)

2005-05-15T18:40:00.000-04:00

Stuart, FL. May, 2005.

Ladies, All the Ladies!!

2005-05-15T18:21:00.000-04:00

Every other Thursday night I go to my small group, From Water to Worship. Last Thursday, I was rushing around, trying to get my dog ready to be dropped off at my mom's house and getting myself ready for small group. I sat down for a quick sec to check my email when I got an instant message from Lauren. Lauren is never online so my original thought was that something was wrong or there was some sort of emergency. Nah, she just wanted to invite me over to spend some time with her and Melanie. I was debating because I was really looking forward to group but at the same time, I rarely get to spend time with Melanie AND Lauren at the same time. I decided to call the group and go spend some time with my ladies.

We ended up spending about 4 hours together. One of our other friends stopped by and spent some time with us as well. We goofed off, we played with all the babies, we laughed, we played Phase 10 (or was it Shanghi?)--we just had a good night together. As I was driving home, I thought about our time together. It wasn't what you would consider a traditional small group, but at different points in the evening, we were either fellowshipping or ministering to each other. It was so good. I was ministered to by just being around good female friends. It's rare that I have the opportunity to just stop all my school or church responsibilities, and even more rare that I am out with the ladies.

I thank God for these women. We've all had strains in our relationships--all four of us. But honestly, I think it is those strains that have made us closer. We are all at different points in our lives: One friend has been married for almost 5 years; another has two young children and has been married for 5 years; another has been married for two years and is raising three young children; I have been married, divorced, career-minded, and trying to get into grad school. We all have very hard-working men in our lives that love us very much. We learn from each other, pray for each other, and love each other.

Ladies, thank you for being the women God has made you to be. I cherish the time we spent together the other night and look forward to more nights like that. We need to make a point of spending more time together. I love you!!

I've Been Robbed!!

2005-05-07T16:17:00.000-04:00

Ok, so the weirdest, creepiest thing happened to me:

About two weeks ago (after looking at my calendar, I think it might have been April 20th), I came home from work. I was in a rush to get somewhere else and was basically making a pit stop (if my assumptions are correct, I was probably on my way to worship rehearsal). When I went to unlock my front door, I noticed that it felt like it was already unlocked. I walked into the house and the laundry room door was open. I found this odd because I always close that particular door or else Browni will get into the trash. I walked toward my bathroom and noticed that the door was closed and the light was on. Again this struck me as odd because I always shut that door (another trash can Browni likes to get into), and I am a freak about saving electricity so I am pretty sure I turned that light off. Not only that, but it is dark when I leave the house for work and I would've noticed if the light was still on. I nervously approached the bathroom door and totally expected someone to jump out and scare me when I opened it. The thought that maybe Phil was in my apartment playing a trick on me crossed my mind. I opened the bathroom door, found no one inside, looked toward the shower curtain, but didn't push it back because I figured it was just my over-active imagination playing tricks on me (we had recently seen The Amityville Horror and there is a scary scene in the bath tub). Still sorta nervous, I turned around, went toward my bedroom, and opened the door. I looked in my room and noticed that my closet light was on. It made me nervous at first because one of the scariest scenes in Amityville takes place in a closet (I know, I know, completely stupid but I can't help it), but then I got over it because I often forget to turn my closet light off. As I quickly left my apartment, heading toward rehearsal, I had an unsettling feeling that someone was in my apartment waiting for me to leave. These feelings were pushed into the back of my mind, but hadn't totally left me.

This morning I got up to get ready for a bridal shower. I went to go plug in my digital camera so it could charge while I was getting ready. My expensive digital camera was gone! Not only was the camera gone, but the entire set-up: the camera, the charging dock, and all the cords that connect to the computer! I looked all around my desk and the area where I normally store everything. I looked around my house and in my bags. Nothing! I called Phil to ask if he had seen it or if he had borrowed it. Nope! I called my family to see if I had let them borrow it. Nope! I talked to Melanie to see if I had left it there, even though I knew I had left it home on Girls' Night Out. Nope! Now I was getting really freaked out. The thought of that day a few weeks ago crept into the forefront of my mind, causing me to feel really creepy.

I went to the office of my apartment complex to report what had happened. I knew there was nothing they could do, but I wanted to know if anyone else had reported something missing. The only people who have access to my apartment, other than Phil and myself, are the maintenance people. The office told me to report it to the police.

After the bridal shower, I called OPD to find out what my options are. They filed a report for me. I am not sure what is going to happen but I feel really weird being in my apartment now. I went back to the office to give them the police report number. They are going to talk to management to find out what they can do for me. If nothing else, I want my locks changed.

Thinking back, I wonder what would've happened if I had moved back the shower curtain. I wonder if someone was back there...

Can I Gush A Little?

2005-05-04T18:24:00.000-04:00

Ok, I hate to do this but I just want to say that I have the BESTEST (wink, wink) boyfriend in the world!! I had the opportunity to go watch one of his concerts last night. It was amazing to just sit and watch him conduct his wind ensemble. Just watching Phil on the podium, drawing music out of these kids was awesome. The emotions spilling forth, the stories that were coming out of the music, the reaction of the kids as they played, and the response of the audience when they were done...WOW!!

Phil, I don't know if you ever read this, but I really enjoyed watching you and listening to your kids last night. I want you to know that I am so thankful that God brought us together. You make me very happy in a way that is very unique to any other relationship I've been in. I don't know what God has planned for us, but I'm very excited. Happy One Year!! I love you! XOXO!!

Thoughts From The Mind of A Princess

98 More Days!

Where I'm At...

Updates...

School Violence

Snakes On A Plane

JOHNNY DEPP LOVES ME!!!!

A Burden Lifted

To My Fellow Educators or Anyone Interested In the Future of American Education

Blah Blog

Engagement Photos

Poetic Moment

I Am Such A Dork!!

Update

It Begins

Once Upon A Time...

Guess Who's Engaged?

Tina's Wedding

Thank You for the Honor

Congratulations

FINALLY!!!!

Chicago, March 2006

Spring Break

Oscar Wrapup

The Grammar Police

The Important Stuff: Movies and Food

Sick...

Your Last Day On Earth

Wicked

Tag! You're It!

The Part of Teaching No One Warned Me About

Etiquette Addendum

Jesus Is the Reason for the Season

A Rant on Etiquette

Look at these hotties!!

School's Out for Winter!!

Evil and Horrible Ms. Herrick

Grad School Finals

Down in the Valley

Jessie's Book Picks

Random Countdowns

100,000 and Counting Baby!!

Three Years...Almost to the Day

Are You Serious?

F-L-O-R-I-D-A S-T-A-T-E! Florida State! Florida State! Florida State, Wooo!!

PRIDE of the Patriots

St. Cloud High School Class of 1995

6,470,818,671

Memories...

Things I Wish I'd Known Before I'd Gone Out Into The World

I LOVE Johnny Depp!!!

Blog Game

HI JANICE!!!!

**sigh**

Reality Check a la Katrina

40 Year Old Virgin

Balancing Act

Interesting

Motherhood

Big Brother 6

Post The First Day of School

Pre-The First Day of School

"Do you like teaching?"

Band Camp

The Great Harry Potter Disappointment

Dumb Athletes

OUCH

Thank You

SixSteps Records Update

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Happy Independence Day

SUMMER SCHOOL....

Emotional Breakdown

DCI

WOW!!

A Servant's Heart

Today's Spelling Test

BTW...

Bowling is the Bomb!!

Update on Howie

sigh