My Story

About two months ago, I found myself in a situation where the parent of one of my students began sharing her marriage situation with me and how her child was dealing with it, therefore how it was effecting the child's school work. I always try to be sincere and listen to parents when they talk to me, without showing favoritism toward the student. I guess the parent figured out that I was a spiritual person because a few weeks later, the parent called me and told me that the situation had escalated and if I saw her child (it was during FCAT week so I didn't see my students during their typical class times), just smile and give him some encouragement.

Last week, I felt God impressing this particular parent on my heart, so I emailed her to ask her how she was doing and if things were ok. She shared a little with me, and I tried to encourage her as best I could without breaking that "ethical teacher" rule. I told her that I understand her situation a lot more than she could imagine. I shared with her that as a daughter of parents that struggled with their marriage, I understand what her child is going through. I also shared that as a woman that has gone through a divorce, I understand what she is going through. She asked me to share a little with her (especially about my parents), which made me nervous about that ethical rule again, but something inside told me tell her my story.

My response:
"My mother got pregnant with me when she was 18; she met the man she would eventually marry a few months after she got pregnant. I do not know my biological father, but my stepfather raised me as his own my entire life. My stepfather has struggled with a drug addiction for over 25 years; some of those years being very, very bad. I grew up thinking my stepfather was my “real” dad, and was a senior in high school when my stepfather told me the truth, out of spite, because of an argument between him and my mother. My mother is a very strong, spiritual woman—she stuck by her husband for 20 years because that is what she felt God wanted her to do. When I was a freshman in college, my stepfather spent about a year in jail, and that is when my mother finally divorced him (a very difficult decision for her). I was very angry at my stepfather—I hated him for the things he did to my mom and his children (I am the oldest of 5, but I am the only one that has a different father). I thought his addiction was more important to him than we were. About a year later, my stepfather was released from jail, and began to work on his life. A year after that, my parents remarried. That was about 7 years ago. My parents have since remarried; my dad is currently sober but has had lapses every now and then. I forgave my stepfather before my parents remarried; I consider him my dad. He walked me down the aisle when I got married, and prayed with/for me when I went through my divorce. He is not a perfect man, but he is trying. He has a long way to go (don't we all) but my mom stands by him, knowing that the struggle is between my dad and God. She prays for him and does all she can, but knows that God is in control.

I think this situation has caused me to understand where my students are coming from. I pray for my students, I love them as much as I can. I share with them pieces of my life when I need to. God allowed me to go through that so that I could be such an effective teacher.

I hope that gives you a little encouragement."

Her response:
"Ms. Herrick, Consider yourself one of God’s little angels. No wonder you are so special and have such impact in your students, your ministry/mission.

God bless, again."

I shared this story with my mother yesterday, trying to encourage her (and to make sure it was ok that I shared this with a parent).

My mother's response:
"I am really happy that God was glorified through you when you shared your life story with the mother of your student. This is what it is all about. We go through situations that are hard and painful, which grows our character to be Christ-like, and then we comfort others that are going through the same type of situations, hopefully leading them to Jesus Christ. It amazes me how you really do "live the life"."

Now thinking through the situation some more, I have come to realize how much I have learned from my parents. I have seen the pain that my father struggles with, but I have seen what God can do when His hand is on your life. God loves my father and has His hand on him. He will bring my dad through his addiction. My dad is just an image of the daily surrender that we must live; without that act of surrendering, we are living our lives on our own. What a hopeless thought! I know I want to live my life the way my dad does, daily surrendering to God.

I have learned the true definition of perseverence through my mother. She is the image of the mother I want to be, the mother that I know she is praying for me to evolve into. My mother encourages me whenever she feels the need to, but she's not afraid to call me out on things either. She tells me to stop complaining and start praying! She compliments me on my voice and my clothes (and my shoes--wink, wink mom), but she tells me to shut up and start worshipping.

My response today:
Even though it was hard at the time, I am glad I have a story to share. It's amazing what we learn through the pain and all-around crap. Anyway, I'll continue to use my story to glorify God around my students.