Things I Wish I'd Known Before I'd Gone Out Into The World

A friend emailed this to me today:

Things I wish I'd known before I'd gone into the world:

• A person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the tape.
• When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.
• The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."
• Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
• When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
• If he or she says that you are too good for him -- believe it.
• I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"
• Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
• If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
• Living well really is the best revenge.
• Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just proves that the other person was right about you.
• Be really nice to your friends because you never know when you are going to need them to empty your bed pan and hold your hand.
• And finally... Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect; it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.

Hmmm...